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Boanerges 7-Round Mock Draft 1.0

2020.09.23 21:02 boanerges77 Boanerges 7-Round Mock Draft 1.0

7-Round Mock Draft

As mentioned in the Monday Mock Draft thread, I took on the task of doing a full seven round mock draft at this wayyy too early point in the season. A few housekeeping notes before we dive in.
I think that's really it. So without further ado, here's Boanerges 7-Round Mock Draft 1.0.
1.) New York Jets - QB Trevor Lawrence, Clemson - Neither Sam Darnold nor Adam Gase is inspiring much confidence right now. If the Jets clean house with Gase, it'd be hard for a new coach not to want the best QB prospect to come out of the Draft since Bo Callahan, I mean, Andrew Luck.
2.) Cincinnati Bengals - OT Penei Sewell, Oregon - Joe Burrow has looked solid in his first two outings as a rookie starter. The Bengals have a franchise QB, and thus, should look for a franchise LT (Williams can slide to RT or inside), to ensure Burrow isn't running for his life.
3.) Carolina Panthers - QB Justin Fields, Ohio State - After spending last year's draft focused on finding pieces to rebuild the defense, Matt Rhule and co. turn towards the offense with this pick. A big-armed athlete out of Columbus, Fields becomes the new QB of the Panthers.
4.) New York Giants - LB Micah Parsons, Penn State - Parsons may be the top linebacker in recent draft memory, an athletic freak who can deploy pretty much anywhere in the box. His explosiveness and size are an ideal blend for anyone needing ILB help, like the Giants here.
5.) Miami Dolphins - WR Ja'Marr Chase, LSU - Miami probably has a bigger need for a pass rush than another need for a wide receiver, but Chase is a better player and prospect than Rousseau, thus, the Dolphins add a dynamic pass-catcher to Tua's arsenal, joining DeVante Parker and Preston Williams.
6.) Detroit Lions - EDGE Gregory Rousseau, Miami - The Lions have Trey Flowers and that's about it in terms of pass rush. Whoever replaces Matt Patricia will probably want to join the modern era of football and get players who can get after the QB. Rousseau's length and athleticism allow him to do exactly that.
7.) Jacksonville Jaguars - DT Marvin Wilson, Florida State - The Jags have played well enough to push themselves out of the top group, but that does not stop them from picking up a stud defensive centerpiece in Wilson. After landing first-round edge rushers the last two years (Josh Allen - 2018, K'Lavon Chaisson - 2019), the Jaguars should have a young, dangerous trio to build around.
8.) Washington Football Team - CB Caleb Farley, Virginia Tech - Dwayne Haskins has started well enough to suggest he could be the long-term answer to the Football Team. After taking edge rushers just about every year, Washington bolsters their cornerback position with Farley, a prospect with fantastic size and fluidity at the cornerback position.
9.) Denver Broncos - OT Samuel Cosmi, Texas - The nicest thing to say about LT Garrett Bolles is that he's a mixed bag. Some good, but way too many mistakes and penalties not to upgrade this position if given the chance. For Denver, they add Cosmi to the fold, where his length should help keep QB Drew Lock from getting injured, which he unfortunately was this past Sunday.
10.) Cleveland Browns - G Wyatt Davis, Ohio State - As a former OL coach myself, I feel comfortable saying that Davis is probably the best interior OL prospect since Nelson out of Notre Dame. He'd be a major upgrade for Cleveland's offensive line, slotting in at RG with ease.
11.) Atlanta Falcons - EDGE Kwity Paye, Michigan - Paye is perhaps one of the biggest winners with the Big Ten choosing to play this fall. He'll have the opportunity to build off a quality 6.5 season in 2019 and match his freaky athletic potential with even more production, solidifying his status as a top-15 pick, one who could certainly help the Falcons here.
12.) Philadelphia Eagles - T/G Rashawn Slater, Northwestern - The Eagles have seen a multitude of injuries erase their OL depth. And with aging players in Jason Peters, Jason Kelce, and Lane Johnson, Philly will almost certainly need to address the position soon. Insert Slater, a stellar tackle out of Northwestern, with the versatility to stay outside or fill a need inside, wherever Philly needs him more.
13.) Miami Dolphins (via HOU) - LB Dylan Moses, Alabama - Moses would have gone in the top-15 or so if he had declared prior to last season. A season-ending injury has put his stock up in the air, and if he solidifies himself as the elite player he's shown, then a top-15 pick. Moses also fits very well in Brian Flores scheme, and should be able to boost that defense as Tua ignites the offense.
14.) Minnesota Vikings - DT Christian Barmore, Alabama - Too much money on Cousins' contract to look at moving on, so continuing to build a dominant roster around him is the play. Rather than reach on an interior lineman, the Vikings select Barmore, a major disruptor on the inside who can play multiple spots up front.
15.) Los Angeles Chargers - OT Dillon Radunz, NDSU - After a quality first start from Justin Herbert, Chargers fans should feel good about their QB situation going forward. The protection? Not so much. Adding a high potential tackle like Radunz would be a wise move for Anthony Lynn and co.
16.) Chicago Bears - QB Trey Lance, NDSU - If Mitch Trubisky could simply play the Lions every week, he'd be an All-Pro. But since he can't, the Bears probably will be looking at a replacement signal-caller. After an incredibly efficient 2019 season throwing no interceptions, Lance will have a chance to end up in the first-round for someone like Chicago.
17.) Indianapolis Colts - EDGE Carlos Basham, Wake Forest - One of the more underrated edge rushers in the class, I think Basham fits perfectly with the Colts. Equally adept at stopping the run and pressuring the quarterback, he'd give Indy a ready-to-go replacement if they don't re-sign Justin Houston.
18.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - WR Jaylen Waddle, Alabama - The Bucs already have one of the best WR duos in the NFL with Mike Evans and Chris Godwin, but adding Waddle to the mix is too much fun to not do it. An explosive athlete with big play speed, Waddle would give the Bucs the best receiving corps in the league, if they don't already possess that title.
19.) Dallas Cowboys - CB Patrick Surtain II, Alabama - Safety is probably the top need for Dallas, but the Cowboys haven't always given that spot the attention most think it needs. And with no clear cut safety for this spot, Dallas takes a big, athletic corner in Surtain, who can help give them a quality trio at cornerback along with Chidobe Awuzie and Trevon Diggs.
20.) Las Vegas Raiders - G Trey Smith, Tennessee - The Raiders have a quality offensive line, but it's interior is aging, and in need of replacement soon (LG Richie Incognito is 36 years old). Thus, the Raiders go ahead and add a powerful run blocker in Trey Smith, as he'll continue to pave the way for RB Josh Jacobs in Las Vegas.
21.) Arizona Cardinals - C/G Creed Humphrey, Oklahoma - Since taking over the center gig in 2018 (when Kyler Murray was his QB), Humphrey has been one of the top interior lineman in CFB. The Cardinals have put together a quality team, but adding a dominant interior lineman like Humphrey to work in command with Murray would be a dream.
22.) Pittsburgh Steelers - OT Jackson Carman, Clemson - The Steelers may need two offensive tackles, or perhaps just one. Either way, Carman's been dominant since spurning Ohio for the Tigers. He'd give Big Ben the protection needed to milk every last ounce of his talent out before they look for a new QB.
23.) New England Patriots - WR Rondale Moore, Purdue - Cam Newton has held the fort together thus far, and assuming he's around for a little longer, giving him some additional weapons would make sense so long as the Patriots remain competitive. Adding Moore, an explosive if undersized playmaker would be just the kind of boost the Patriots offense needs.
24.) San Francisco 49ers - CB Tyson Campbell, Georgia - Richard Sherman's days of elite play are few, and so the 49ers should get serious about finding an elite replacement to step in. Enter Campbell, a long, athletic corner out of Athens, GA. While Campbell may not become Richard Sherman immediately, he has the potential to develop into an elite press corner.
25.) Tennessee Titans - EDGE Quincy Roche, Miami - The Titans are once again off to a good start, and so long as they have Henry and Tannehill playing well, they figure to be a competitor in the AFC. Thus, adding a quick twitch pass rusher like Roche to the mix can give them a boost, even if Jadeveon Clowney makes his stay long-term.
26.) Jacksonville Jaguars (via LAR) - RB Travis Etienne, Clemson - An explosive back, either in the rushing attack or out of the backfield, Etienne would be a major weapon to put beside Gardner Minshew. His versatility and leadership should make him a big piece of the Jaguars rebuild, which looks pretty promising with the amount of picks they've compiled.
27.) Buffalo Bills - DE Jayson Oweh, Penn State - Not too dissimilar to Kwity Paye, Oweh is another freak athlete terrorizing Big Ten quarterbacks. After five sacks as a sophomore, Oweh will have the chance to capitalize on his crazy potential and end up a first-round pick. The Bills will likely be in search of another pass rusher as Trent Murphy hits free agency.
28.) New Orleans Saints - CB Shaun Wade, Ohio State - Janoris Jenkins won't be around for too much longer, as he'll be 32 next fall. The Saints should plan accordingly, and consider taking an elite cornerback prospect like Shaun Wade, pairing him with another former Buckeye in Marshon Lattimore.
29.) Green Bay Packers - RT Jalen Mayfield, Michigan - The Packers wide receivers are playing really well to start the season. Well enough, perhaps, to avoid going wide receiver in round one and instead land their an elite athlete at the right tackle position. With Rick Wagner likely a temporary fill at RT, and David Bakhtiari getting older as well, the Packers could use a big investment into the OT position, and Mayfield has the tools to be elite.
30.) New York Jets (via SEA) - WR DeVonta Smith, Alabama - The Jets continue to revamp their pass catching corps, bringing in a high caliber option out of Alabama (the 5th Tide player in the first round here), adding him to a group with Denzel Mims and Jamison Crowder. Trevor Lawrence would likely approve.
31.) Baltimore Ravens - S Trevon Moehrig, TCU - After the departure of Earl Thomas, the Ravens will get a look at their young safety this season. Moehrig figures to be the top free safety off the board, and would fit like a glove in Wink's defensive scheme as the Ravens try to make a Super Bowl run.
32.) Kansas City Chiefs - C/G Josh Myers, Ohio State - The Buckeyes may have the rare opportunity to put two interior offensive linemen into the first round, as Wyatt Davis and Josh Myers are amongst the best in the nation. The Chiefs could use another dominant force on the inside, and Myers has the size and flexibility to play any of the three interior spots.
33.) New York Jets - EDGE Patrick Jones II, Pittsburgh - The Jets finally manage to add an edge-rusher, a piece they've needed for awhile now.
34.) Cincinnati Bengals - EDGE Aidan Hutchinson, Michigan - With Carlos Dunlap getting older, the Bengals add a strong, high motor pass rusher to eventually replace him.
35.) Carolina Panthers - OT Alex Leatherwood, Alabama - Capable of playing just about any spot on the line (experience starting at both tackle spots and guard), Leatherwood figures to be a plug-and-play option.
36.) New York Giants - CB Paulson Adebo, Stanford - Even after bringing in former Panthers CB James Bradberry, the Giants still could use another high caliber corner.
37.) Miami Dolphins - SS Hamsah Nasirildeen, Florida State - After trading Minkah Fitzpatrick to the Steelers last year, the Dolphins land a similar style player to fill that role.
38.) Detroit Lions - WR Rashod Bateman, Minnesota - Needing to restock their WR room, the Lions add a crafty wideout with near flawless ability to release at the line.
39.) Jacksonville Jaguars - TE Kyle Pitts, Florida - The Jaguars continue stockpiling talent and weapons for Gardner Minshew, this time in the athletic tight end.
40.) Washington Football Team - WR Sage Surratt, Wake Forest - The Football Team adds a natural athlete who can win contested throws on the regular.
41.) Denver Broncos - DT Jaylen Twyman, Pittsburgh - The best player on the board, the Broncos add a disruptive pass rusher to the interior of Fangio's 3-4.
42.) Cleveland Browns - LB Chazz Surratt, North Carolina - After letting LB Joe Schobert walk in free agency, the Browns need a rangy LB like Surratt to fill the hole.
43.) Atlanta Falcons - CB Asante Samuel Jr., Florida State - The Falcons pick up the son of a legend, and a quality player himself who can work into their CB room in the slot.
44.) Philadelphia Eagles - S Jevon Holland, Oregon - After bolstering their offensive line in round one, the Eagles add a ball-hawking safety to the mix in the second.
45.) Miami Dolphins (via HOU) - EDGE Hamilcar Rashed Jr, Oregon State - A versatile edge defender who can stop the run and rush the QB.
46.) Jacksonville Jaguars (via MIN) - OT Tyler Vrabel, Boston College - One of the more underrated tackles in the 2021 class, Vrabel gives the Jags extra protection.
47.) Los Angeles Chargers - G Alijah Vera-Tucker, USC - An elite pass protector on the inside, Vera-Tucker won't have to move too far to find a useful spot for his talents.
48.) Chicago Bears - OT Daniel Faalele, Minnesota - An absolute mountain at 6'8, 400 lbs, Faalele can upgrade the RT position for Chicago and RB David Montgomery.
49.) Indianapolis Colts - CB Marco Wilson, Florida - Giving Jacob Eason a shot at the QB gig before selecting a QB leads the Colts to picking up an instinctive corner in Wilson
50.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - DT Jay Tufele, USC - A powerful duo on the inside with Vita Vea and Tufele wrecking offensive lines in Tampa.
51.) Dallas Cowboys - TE Pat Freiermuth, Penn State - Jarwin is a solid tight end, but Dallas showed how dangerous a star like Witten could be, and they find that here with Freiermuth.
52.) Las Vegas Raiders - LB Jabrill Cox, LSU - Originally out of NDSU, Cox is an athletic and instinctive linebacker who can give the Raiders a boost on defense.
53.) Arizona Cardinals - TE Brevin Jordan, Miami - The Cardinals add a dynamic receiving threat at the tight end position.
54.) Pittsburgh Steelers - CB Kary Vincent Jr., LSU - An underrated, quick twitch corner in the slot who could seamlessly replace Mike Hilton, who is on an expiring deal.
55.) New England Patriots - DT Tyler Shelvin, LSU - The Patriots add a run-stopper in the middle of the defense, bringing back the days of Vince Wilfork.
56.) San Francisco 49ers - RB Najee Harris, Alabama - A former San Fran native himself, Harris would be an exceptional back to pair with Raheem Mostert. Best player on the board by a wide margin.
57.) Tennessee Titans - WR Amon-Ra St. Brown, USC - Unless Corey Davis can get things squared away over the remainder of this season, the Titans could go in a different direction.
58.) Jacksonville Jaguars - S Paris Ford, Pittsburgh - With only an inconsistent Josh Jones at the strong safety position, the Jaguars take the tone-setting Panther.
59.) Buffalo Bills - CB Israel Mukuamu, South Carolina - Sean McDermott adds a long, lengthy corner with great traits to develop into a partner for Tre Smith.
60.) New Orleans Saints - QB Brock Purdy, Iowa State - Purdy has slipped from first-round status, but pairing him with Sean Payton should allow him to reach his potential as a franchise QB.
61.) Green Bay Packers - DT/DE Levi Onwuzurike, Washington - Whether as a DT or DE in their front, the Packers could use a run-stopper like Onwuzurike to improve their front.
62.) Seattle Seahawks - EDGE Patrick Johnson, Tulane - A fast defender who deploys all over the formation for Tulane.
63.) Baltimore Ravens - EDGE Chris Rumph II, Duke - A quick edge rusher who can align across from Matt Judon, Rumph would bring some quality pass rush to Baltimore.
64.) Kansas City Chiefs - WR Nico Collins, Michigan - With Sammy Watkins on an expiring contract, the Chiefs grab themselves a different type of big play threat in Collins.
65.) New York Jets - OT Alaric Jackson, Iowa - A powerful run blocker, Jackson and 2019 first-round pick Mekhi Becton give the Jets two bookend tackles, though Jackson can kick inside if needed.
66.) Cincinnati Bengals - CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan - A speedy corner who can play man-to-man or drop back, the Bengals add Thomas to the mix.
67.) Carolina Panthers - LB Cameron McGrone, Michigan - Back-to-back Wolverines as the Panthers add a linebacker with sideline-to-sideline range to replace Kuechly
68.) New York Giants - WR Seth Williams, Auburn - Adding to their largely slot receiver room, Williams gives the Giants a physical redzone threat to throw to.
69.) Miami Dolphins - RB Chuba Hubbard, Oklahoma State - The Dolphins add a home run threat back to pair with Myles Gaskin and Jordan Howard. Nice.
70.) Detroit Lions - DT Phidarian Mathis, Alabama - Despite the focus on run-defense from Patricia, the Lions are one of the league worst at stopping it. Mathis should help reverse that.
71.) Jacksonville Jaguars - CB Eric Stokes, Georgia - After taking C.J. Henderson in the first last year, the Jags add Stokes hoping to develop him with Henderson and Herndon.
72.) Washington Football Team - S Richard LeCounte III, Georgia - With Landon Collins at the SS position, Washington adds LeCounte as a deep free safety.
73.) Denver Broncos - LB Dmitri Moore, Vanderbilt - Instinctive linebacker who can give the Broncos an upgrade at the second-level.
74.) Cleveland Browns - EDGE Joshua Kaindoh, Florida State - More traits than production at this point, he did post 6.5 sacks last season and could develop into a starter down the road.
75.) Atlanta Falcons - LB Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, Notre Dame - Coverage linebacker who can also add a lot of special teams value.
76.) Philadelphia Eagles - EDGE Shaka Toney, Penn State - Adding the explosive edge rusher should help prepare Philly for when Brandon Graham eventually retires.
77.) Houston Texans - CB Keith Taylor, Washington - The Texans don't have a lot of picks, so finding versatile guys like Taylor to assist in multiple roles would be wise.
78.) Minnesota Vikings - G Jack Anderson, Texas Tech - The Vikings dealt their second-rounder for Yannick Ngakoue, meaning they have to wait until the third to find a guard.
79.) Los Angeles Chargers - CB Chase Lucas, Arizona State - With Desmond King's long-term status up in the air, the Chargers add a versatile zone corner to potentially replace him.
80.) Chicago Bears - WR Terrace Marshall Jr., LSU - If Allen Robinson ends up getting dealt, the Bears would be wise to target a replacement like Marshall.
81.) Indianapolis Colts - OT Liam Eichenberg, Notre Dame - Eichenberg lands just down the road, giving the Colts a developmental option behind Anthony Castonzo, who will be 33 next season.
82.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - EDGE Victor Dimukeje, Duke - A quick edge rusher with plenty of power, Dimukeje would fit into the Bucs pass rush quite well with Shaq Barrett.
83.) Dallas Cowboys - S Andre Cisco, Syracuse - Dallas waits until the third round to add their safety, bringing in a high potential player in Andre Cisco.
84.) Las Vegas Raiders - DT Corey Durden, Florida State - Played out of position at FSU, Durden's ability to disrupt the QB on the inside would bolster Jon Gruden's defense.
85.) Arizona Cardinals - EDGE Joe Tryon, Washington - An exceptional athlete on the edge, Tryon can develop into the partner in crime that Chandler Jones needs to disrupt offenses.
86.) Pittsburgh Steelers - QB Jamie Newman, Wake Forest/UGA - The Steelers' backup options failed to impress in 2019, leading Pittsburgh to take a chance on Newman's upside as a long-term successor to Big Ben.
87.) New England Patriots - S Richie Grant, UCF - A rangy deep safety could be a good thing to have for New England, after trading Duron Harmon to the Lions.
88.) Washington Football Team - RB Journey Brown, Penn State - Washington adds a big play back in Brown, adding him to the mix of Antonio Gibson and J.D. McKissic.
89.) Tennessee Titans - CB Jaycee Horn, South Carolina - Even after investing high in Kristian Fulton, the Titans would be well served by the high upside value of Horn, as Butler's eventual replacement.
90.) Los Angeles Rams - G Zion Johnson, Boston College - A transfer from Davidson, Johnson's easy athleticism have translated well into FBS football, and should bolster a Rams rushing attack.
91.) Buffalo Bills - G Deonte Brown, Alabama - Putting Deonte Brown into a downhill rushing attack like the Bills (with former Alabama OC Brian Daboll) would be fun to watch.
92.) Cleveland Browns (via NO) - TE Nick Eubanks, Michigan - Browns coach Kevin Stefanski loves multiple tight end looks, and Eubanks is an effective pass catcher who can offer some insurance in case Njoku departs.
93.) Green Bay Packers - WR Tamorrion Terry, Florida State - The Packers add a big wide receiver who gives great effort run blocking, and can win balls on the outside.
94.) New York Jets (via SEA) - RB Kenneth Gainwell, Memphis - Le'Veon Bell hasn't been the star the Jets hoped he could be. They turn to a versatile back like Gainwell for another weapon.
95.) Baltimore Ravens - WR Chris Olave, Ohio State - A speedy slot receiver heads to the Ravens as they continue to build a lethal and diverse offense.
96.) Kansas City Chiefs - LB Nick Bolton, Missouri - The Chiefs add a physical linebacker to the mix, bringing in a local talent in Bolton.
97.) Los Angeles Chargers - DT Jordan Davis, Georgia - Adding some extra beef on the inside for the Chargers, Davis is a strong, athletic piece up front.
98.) New England Patriots - QB Kyle Trask, Florida - Trask flashed plenty of upside in his first year as a starter, and could give Jarrett Stidham some competition whenever Newton departs.
99.) Dallas Cowboys - DT Tedarrell Slaton, Florida - Another Gator, Slaton will clog holes in the middle of the Cowboys defense, helping DeMarcus Lawrence get into 3rd and long.
100.) New Orleans Saints - LB Jack Sanborn, Wisconsin - A well rounded inside linebacker, Sanborn fills a big need for the Saints, being reunited with fellow Badger Zach Baun.
101.) Tennessee Titans - TE Peyton Hendershot, Indiana - A versatile tight end playing out of multiple alignments, Hendershot and Smith make a quality TE duo.
102.) Los Angeles Rams - EDGE Joseph Ossai, Texas - More raw than refined at this point, Ossai has scary athleticism, making him an intriguing option for the Rams.
103.) Minnesota Vikings - QB Tanner Morgan, Minnesota - With a Cousins extension preventing him from being moved, the Vikings may need a more economic solution to the QB position. Morgan's had success in the state thus far.
Not going to do the little piece after each pick, just some of the more interesting ones.
104.) New York Jets - CB Thomas Graham Jr., Oregon
105.) Cincinnati Bengals - WR Tylan Wallace, Oklahoma State
106.) Carolina Panthers - CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
107.) New York Giants - EDGE Charles Snowden, Virginia
108.) Las Vegas Raiders (via MIA) - CB Josh Jobe, Alabama
109.) Detroit Lions - QB Desmond Ridder, Cincinnati - While a new regime could look for a new QB right away, Ridder could be a long-term upside play while Detroit rides out Stafford's contract.
110.) Jacksonville Jaguars - G Cade Mays, Tennessee
111.) Washington Football Team - OT Thayer Munford, Ohio State
112.) Denver Broncos - CB Robert Rochell, Central Arkansas - An FCS corner with an elite blend of size and speed would be an interesting addition for Fangio and co.
113.) Cleveland Browns - DT Osa Odighizuwa, UCLA
114.) Atlanta Falcons - S Aashari Crosswell, Arizona State
115.) Cleveland Browns (via PHI) - S JaCoby Stevens, LSU
116.) Houston Texans - G Myron Cunningham, Arkansas
117.) Minnesota Vikings - WR Damon Hazelton, Missouri
118.) Los Angeles Chargers - WR Anthony Schwartz, Auburn - Able to align inside or outside, Schwartz would fit well with Keenan Allen and Mike Williams.
119.) Minnesota Vikings - S Quentin Lake, UCLA
120.) Indianapolis Colts - DT Marlon Tuipulotu, USC
121.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - G Luke Wattenberg, Washington
122.) Dallas Cowboys - RB Zamir White, Georgia
123.) Miami Dolphins (via LAV) - G Ben Cleveland, Georgia
124.) Houston Texans (via ARI) - RB Kylin Hill, Mississippi State
125.) Pittsburgh Steelers - DT LaBryan Ray, Alabama - After seeing Javon Hargrave head across state to Philly, the Steelers land an interior lineman to fill the hole.
126.) New England Patriots - OT Cordell Volson, NDSU
127.) San Francisco 49ers - C Tyler Linderbaum, Iowa - Richburg's had some more injuries recently, and Garland will be 33 next fall. Grooming a talented replacement seems prudent.
128.) Tennessee Titans - DT Lorenzo Neal, Purdue
129.) Jacksonville Jaguars (via LAR) - RB Jarrett Patterson, Buffalo
130.) Minnesota Vikings (via BUF) - OT Landon Dickerson, Alabama
131.) New Orleans Saints - EDGE Ronnie Perkins, Oklahoma
132.) Green Bay Packers - LB K.J. Britt, Auburn
133.) Seattle Seahawks - G Alec Lindstrom, Boston College
134.) Baltimore Ravens - DT Robert Cooper, Florida State - A fearsome run defender, Cooper swallows up blocks at the point of attack, and should work well with Brandon Williams.
135.) Kansas City Chiefs - CB Elijah Molden, Washington
136.) New England Patriots - EDGE Malcolm Koonce, Buffalo
137.) Dallas Cowboys - QB J.T. Daniels, Georgia - The Cowboys will almost assuredly end up extending Dak Prescott, but improving the backup spot with Daniels' upside could be wise regardless.
138.) Los Angeles Rams - LB Kuony Deng, California
139.) Pittsburgh Steelers - WR Justyn Ross, Clemson
140.) Green Bay Packers - CB Camryn Bynum, California
141.) Kansas City Chiefs - EDGE Xavier Thomas, Clemson
142.) New England Patriots - LB Baron Browning, Ohio State


143.) New York Jets - C/G Drake Jackson, Kentucky
144.) Cincinnati Bengals - TE Charlie Kolar, Iowa State
145.) Carolina Panthers - TE Tre McKitty, Georgia - McKitty is a quality move tight end for the Bulldogs, and could fit well developing behind Ian Thomas.
146.) New York Jets - EDGE Jeremiah Moon, Florida
147.) Las Vegas Raiders - EDGE Tyreke Smith, Ohio State
148.) Detroit Lions - S Reed Blankenship, Middle Tennessee St.
149.) Jacksonville Jaguars - WR Chatarius Atwell, Louisville - After making 8 picks already, the Jaguars simply take the best player on the board in Atwell, a shifty playmaker.
150.) Washington Football Team - LB Paddy Fisher, Northwestern
151.) Denver Broncos - EDGE Jordan Smith, UAB
152.) Jacksonville Jaguars - CB T.J. Carter, Memphis
153.) Atlanta Falcons - RB Master Teague, Ohio State - If Gurley's knees hold up, the Falcons will have a high caliber back, but adding a talented piece like Teague to the rotation would still be warranted.
154.) Philadelphia Eagles - LB Palaie Gaoteote IV, USC
155.) Houston Texans - S Ar'Darius Washington, TCU
156.) Minnesota Vikings - S Kolbey Harvell-Peel, Oklahoma State
157.) Los Angeles Chargers - RB Michael Carter, North Carolina
158.) Chicago Bears - S Tariq Thompson, SDSU - A run on safeties in the fifth concludes with the Bears snagging Thompson, who can play as a box or slot safety.
159.) Indianapolis Colts - WR Ihmir Smith-Marsette, Iowa
160.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - QB Sam Ehlinger, Texas
161.) Philadelphia Eagles - WR Dazz Newsome, North Carolina
162.) Buffalo Bills - LB Amari Gainer, Florida State
163.) Arizona Cardinals - CB Olaijah Griffin, USC
164.) Baltimore Ravens - TE Tony Poljan, Virginia - A former quarterback at Central Michigan, Poljan has made the transition to TE well and has picked up the position quickly.
165.) New England Patriots - RB C.J. Verdell, Oregon
166.) San Francisco 49ers - S Xavier Henderson, Michigan State
167.) Tennessee Titans - DL/EDGE Tarron Jackson, Coastal Carolina
168.) Cleveland Browns - QB Kenny Pickett, Pittsburgh - The Browns take a swing on the nearby Pickett, looking to find some competition at the QB2 spot.
169.) Buffalo Bills - TE Jake Ferguson, Wisconsin
170.) New Orleans Saints - TE Matt Bushman, BYU
171.) Green Bay Packers - RB Pooka Williams, Kansas - A trio of Aaron Jones, A.J. Dillon, and Pooka sure sounds like a fun-time with a versatile set of skills all-around.
172.) Seattle Seahawks - DT Bobby Brown III, Texas A&M
173.) Minnesota Vikings (via BAL) - RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
174.) Kansas City Chiefs - DT Darius Stills, West Virginia
175.) Green Bay Packers - EDGE Jamar Watson, Kentucky
176.) Atlanta Falcons - G Jack Wohlabaugh, Duke
177.) Dallas Cowboys - Micheal Clemons, Texas A&M - With just about all their pass-rushers other than Lawrence on expiring deals, Clemons represents both upside and insurance.
178.) Baltimore Ravens - LB Monty Rice, Georgia
179.) San Francisco 49ers - CB Jack Jones, Arizona State
180.) Kansas City Chiefs - OT Ben Petrula, Boston College


181.) New England Patriots (via NYJ) - CB Mike Hampton, USF
182.) Cincinnati Bengals - S Brandon McKinney, Washington
183.) Carolina Panthers - LB Ventrell Miller, Florida
184.) New York Giants - QB Kellen Mond, Texas A&M - The A&M veteran lands in the Big Apple with a chance to compete with Colt McCoy for a backup role.
185.) Houston Texans (via MIA) -EDGE Deangelo Malone, Western Kentucky
186.) Detroit Lions - WR Charleston Rambo, Oklahoma
187.) Jacksonville Jaguars - DT Carlo Kemp, Michigan
188.) Washington Football Team - TE Cade Otton, Washington
189.) Denver Broncos - QB Anthony Russo, Temple - Jeff Driskel will get a chance to convince Denver he can be a long-term QB2. If not, Russo has a big arm and would fit well behind Lock.
190.) Cleveland Browns - CB DiCaprio Bootle, Nebraska
191.) Atlanta Falcons - WR Ronnie Bell, Michigan
192.) Philadelphia Eagles - RB Rakeem Boyd, Arkansas
193.) Houston Texans - DT Naquan Jones, Michigan State
194.) Minnesota Vikings - OT Abraham Lucas, Washington State
195.) Los Angeles Chargers - EDGE Tyree Johnson, Texas A&M
196.) Chicago Bears - G Robert Hainsey, Notre Dame
197.) Indianapolis Colts - QB Zac Thomas, Appalachian State
198.) Pittsburgh Steelers (via TB) - OT Alex Palczewski, Illinois
199.) Dallas Cowboys - T/G Dylan Wonnum, South Carolina
200.) Las Vegas Raiders - QB Jarrett Guarantano, Tennessee
201.) Arizona Cardinals - DT Alim McNeill, NC State - An explosive lineman, McNeill is able to penetrate gaps quickly, and would fit inside as a 3-4 DE or pass-rushing nose tackle.
202.) Miami Dolphins (via PIT) - TE Jeremy Ruckert, Ohio State
203.) New York Jets (via NE) - S Greg Eisworth II, Iowa State
204.) San Francisco 49ers - QB K.J. Costello, Mississippi State
205.) Tennessee Titans - C/G Michael Menet, Penn State
206.) Los Angeles Rams - WR Austin Watkins, UAB
207.) Buffalo Bills - WR Marquez Stevenson, Houston
208.) Houston Texans (via NO) - OT Brendan Jaimes, Nebraska
209.) Green Bay Packers - WR Damonte Coxie, Memphis
210.) Miami Dolphins - OT Adrian Ealy, Oklahoma
211.) Baltimore Ravens - S Damar Hamlin, Pittsburgh
212.) Tennessee Titans (via KC) - LB Josh Ross, Michigan
213.) Atlanta Falcons - DT Mustafa Johnson, Colorado
214.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - CB Coby Bryant, Cincinnati
215.) Atlanta Falcons - QB Brandon Peters, Illinois
216.) Philadelphia Eagles - TE Cary Angeline, NC State
217.) Chicago Bears - CB Tariq Castro-Fields, Penn State
218.) Green Bay Packers - CB Tre Norwood, Oklahoma


219.) New York Jets - DT Dante Stills, West Virginia
220.) Cincinnati Bengals - RB Javian Hawkins, Louisville
221.) Buffalo Bills (via CAR) - S Leon O'Neal Jr., Texas A&M
222.) Denver Broncos (via NYG) - S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
223.) Pittsburgh Steelers (via MIA) - LB Merlin Robertson, Arizona State - A versatile player, Robertson can play on the EDGE or off-ball with relative ease.
224.) Seattle Seahawks (via DET) - OT Spencer Brown, Northern Iowa
225.) Jacksonville Jaguars - OT/G Cole Van Lanen, Wisconsin
226.) Washington Football Team - LB Pete Werner, Ohio State
227.) Denver Broncos - RB Elijah Collins, Michigan State
228.) Cleveland Browns - WR Reggie Roberson Jr., SMU
229.) Chicago Bears (via MIA via ATL?) - EDGE Big Kat Bryant, Auburn
230.) Philadelphia Eagles - CB Rodarius Williams, Oklahoma State
231.) Houston Texans - EDGE Daelin Hayes, Notre Dame
232.) Kansas City Chiefs (via MIN) - G Liam Fornadel, James Madison
233.) Los Angeles Chargers - G Paul Grattan, UCLA
234.) Las Vegas Raiders (via CHI) - WR Josh Imatorbhebhe, Illinois
235.) Indianapolis Colts - EDGE Elerson Smith, Northern Iowa - Two Northern Iowa players make it into the seventh-round, as the Colts take a flier on the potential of Smith and his 6'7 frame.
236.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - S Ifeatu Melifonwu, Syracuse
237.) New England Patriots (via DAL) - WR Dyami Brown, North Carolina
238.) Washington Football Team (via LV) - QB Shane Buechele, SMU
239.) Arizona Cardinals - WR Cade Johnson, South Dakota State
240.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers - EDGE LaRon Stokes, Oklahoma
241.) New England Patriots - CB Trey Dean III, Florida
242.) San Francisco 49ers - WR Dez Fitzpatrick, Louisville
243.) Tennessee Titans - K Grayson Atkins, North Carolina - After a disastrous first outing from Parkey, the Titans may be looking for a new kicker soon, and Atkins figures to be one of the first off the board.
244.) Los Angeles Rams - QB Peyton Ramsey, Northwestern
245.) Cleveland Browns (via BUF) - WR Elijah Moore, Ole Miss
246.) New Orleans Saints - P Drue Chrisman, Ohio State
247.) Green Bay Packers - DT Ifeanyi Maijeh, Temple
248.) New York Jets (via SEA) - DT Tuli Letuligasenoa, Washington
249.) Baltimore Ravens - QB D'Eriq King, Miami - Admit it, this would be fun to watch. Whether as a backup QB to compete with RG3 and McSorley, or as an offensive weapon, Ravens getting even more dangerous.
250.) Kansas City Chiefs - EDGE Chauncey Golston, Iowa
251.) Dallas Cowboys - G Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
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2020.08.22 15:08 kittehgoesmeow What A Day: DeJoy in Mudville by Sarah Lazarus, Brian Beutler & Crooked Media (08/21/20)

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." - Delaware's own Tom Carper, voice of the people

Fax And Fiction

“A home run in the bottom of the ninth!” “A very good speech!” “Enormously effective!” “The best he’s been!” And that’s just how a bunch of Fox News Republicans thought Joe Biden did last night.
Having watched Democrats produce a widely hailed, politically effective, and technically smooth virtual convention (thank you Glenn), Trump graciously offered a preview of the paranoid, racist, lie-drenched festival Republicans have planned for next week!
Apart from his promises to fix the crises Trump has created, Biden’s most basic appeal this week was that Trump has made America a crueler place, and he would make it better simply by being a kind, empathic, generous person. That shows just how low Trump has set the bar for American leadership. But it’s also a step the country needs to take on its road to recovery, or it’ll never recover. Ready to do your part?

Look No Further Than The Crooked Media

On this week's Campaign Experts React to Good and Bad 2020 Ads (you love it), Dan Pfeiffer and former Obama senior advisor David Axelrod react to a Biden ad targeting seniors in Florida, a negative spot from the Trump campaign, and an ad from Governor Roy Cooper's re-election campaign in North Carolina. Don't forget to smash that subscribe button

Under The Radar

Postmaster General Louis DeJoy testified before a GOP-led Senate committee today, insisting that the USPS is “fully capable and committed to delivering the nation's election mail securely and on time.” That commitment does not, apparently, extend to reinstalling mailboxes and sorting machines ahead of the election. Kamala Harris was on the panel, but opted to submit questions to DeJoy in writing rather than participate in the hearing—a surprising choice, given that flaying Republican hacks is one of Harris’s top strengths. Meanwhile, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin denied having anything to do with Trump’s selection of DeJoy for the job, while the former USPS inspector general told the Congressional Progressive Caucus that Mnuchin had politicized the agency, and specifically wanted mailboxes removed. The House is set to vote on a bill that would provide $25 billion to the post office on Saturday, and DeJoy will appear before the House oversight committee on Monday.

What Else?

The Trump administration will put coronavirus-data collection back in the hands of the CDC, after the abrupt shift to a new HHS reporting system caused delays and data inconsistencies, just like public health experts warned it would. Good—now to find out exactly why it happened in the first place.
In the meantime, it’s on to the next: The White House has barred the FDA from regulating coronavirus tests. Approved labs will be able to make and sell tests without having to provide data on their reliability, and just speaking for ourselves here, accuracy is one of our favorite coronavirus-test features.
President Trump casually suggested withholding federal aid for California amid raging wildfires, because California didn’t take his suggestion to rake forest floors. Trump’s own former DHS chief of staff said Trump tried to withhold emergency funding for California because Californians didn’t vote for him.
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer made clear he’s open to abolishing the filibuster if Joe Biden wins with a Democratic Senate majority. Let’s get it done
Progressives were pretty pissed when Nancy Pelosi endorsed Joe Kennedy over Sen. Ed Markey (D-MA) on Thursday, but maybe she had a good reason? “I wasn’t too happy with some of the assault that I saw made on the Kennedy family, and I thought, Joe didn’t ask me to endorse him, but I felt an imperative to do so.” Oh.
Facebook has reportedly begun laying out contingency plans in case Trump tries to delegitimize the election results, including a “kill switch” to shut down political ads after election day. Whether any of those plans will remain in place after Trump calls Mark Zuckerberg and screams at him, we cannot say.
A California judge sentenced Joseph DeAngelo, the Golden State Killer, to life in prison without the possibility of parole. DeAngelo pleaded guilty to 13 murders and dozens of rapes.
In significantly less horrific California crimes, a federal judge sentenced Lori Loughlin to two months in prison for her role in the Varsity Blues college admissions scheme. Loughlin’s husband was sentenced to five months.
In medium-horrific California crimes, Megan Thee Stallion has accused rapper Tory Lanez of shooting her in the feet following an argument last month.
Fox News staffers are rattled by how fully the network has become a Trump mouthpiece, and even Sean Hannity has reportedly been having a terrible time: “Hannity would tell you, off-off-off the record, that Trump is a batshit crazy person.” God bless them for putting aside those personal feelings to press on with the important work of radicalizing everyone’s parents.

Be Smarter

Doctors have cleared opposition leader Alexey Navalny to be transported to Germany for treatment, after initially blocking his family’s attempts to move him. Navalny is in a coma after falling ill on a return flight to Moscow from Siberia in a suspected poisoning. The deputy head physician at the Siberian hospital where Navalny was initially treated said that no poisons were found in his system, contradicting reports from police, who said they’d identified an “industrial chemical substance.” The hospital’s chief doctor suggested that Navalny fell into a coma because of low blood sugar, a very reasonable diagnosis in a land where doctors are known to mysteriously fall out of windows.

What A Sponsor

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Building a consistent health routine doesn’t get any easier. Try Athletic Greens now and receive 20 free servings with your first purchase delivered straight to your door.

Is That Hope I Feel?

This is a great piece on the political power of Joe Biden’s kindness.
Relatedly, if you’ve got a minute for a cry, here’s a video of the first time Biden met Brayden Harrington.
The New York chapter of the ACLU won an appeals court's consent to publish records of NYPD complaints dating back to the '80's, leading a federal judge to lift a restraining order on the release of NYPD disciplinary records.
Taylor Swift donated signed Folklore CDs to support indie record stores across the U.S., and also has been very cool about encouraging her fans to vote early. (Go on the pod, Taylor.)


craic baby on Twitter: "baby pandas have one purpose and that is Chaos"
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2020.08.22 05:17 hnglmkrnglbrry Jim Halpert sucks

I'm rewatching this show and repeatedly Jim Halpert proves himself to be a self-centered, hypocritical, mean, jackass punctuated by brief moments of the most basic forms of human decency that we are to confuse for him being a good person.
Season 1 we find Jim pulling pranks on Dwight from moment go. But...why? Jim is the cause of 99% of the behavior that Dwight exhibits that annoys him. Dude needs to learn about cause and effect. Most of his pranks are entirely unprovoked, and he goes way too far with a ton of them. Dwight mocks the amount of snow falling and Jim throws a snowball in his face. Then to top it off, he acts like the victim because Dwight actually fights back. Jim stripped Dwight to his underwear in front of his co-workers, and then acts terrified that Dwight would harm his children? Jim is a classic bully who absolutely cannot take even a modicum of his own medicine.
Some of this shit is just sociopathic grooming behavior too. Offering Dwight a mint at a buzz repeatedly to condition him? Slowly adding weight to Dwight's phone headset only to remove it so Dwight can hit himself in the face? Not the stuff a sane person does.
And let's not forget that Dwight didn't hesitate for a second to protect Jim from Roy and literally asked for nothing in return. Jim did make an effort to show his appreciation so that is commendable...but then 4 episodes later he slaps Dwight in the face because Dwight said most attacks come from the rear. The guy that just saved you from getting your ass handed to you is the same person you're going to mock for their self defense techniques? Dick. Oh and then you dress like him for no reason to make fun of him for having interests outside of tormenting his coworkers? And who did Jim run to for help when whatsherface was trying to sleep with him in Florida? Dwight. "Hey, Dwight, I don't have enough respect for my wife to tell this woman to leave my hotel room, so can you come and check for bedbugs?"
What about Jim the hypocrite? Jim mocks Charles Miner for kissing David Wallace's ass because he did the very sycophantic move of thanking David Wallace of giving him a job and complimenting the members of the office? So how does Jim show his disdain for flattery? By pretending to know how to play soccer to impress Charles. Don't worry though, it only resulted in Phyllis getting hit in the face with a ball. No biggie! She's not a main character in Jim's eyes. He was so desperate for Charles's approval that he couldn't even ask, "What's a rundown?" Not to mention Jim begs for DeAngelo and Robert to like him, be it don't worry, it's not being a kiss ass when Jim does it. "Look at my baby! Please like me!" "Can I join the inner circle? I'll do anything to stay!" He does everything to impress his bosses except actually trying to perform well.
"But what about Pam? He's so sweet with Pam!"
Yes he is. Except when he's fucking horrible to her. The Halloween costumes thing is whatever. He doesn't have to do that crap if he doesn't want to. But what about if someone calls your wife a front of your boss...because she said women were being discriminated against? Would you say, "Hey don't say that! That's the woman I love!" Or would you just be silent and never address it? Because Jim chose the latter when Kevin called Pam a bitch. Don't worry, though. He cut a rental tie in half once so he's prince charming.
How about buying a house without your wife's approval? Think about this: her name isn't even on the mortgage. She lives in his house literally and figuratively. He is connected to that home and he thought, "Well I'm stuck in a state of permanent arrested development, so of course I want to live forever in my memories as a 12 year old." And it's not like Jim bought the house and fixed it up for his new bride. No. He left it just as shitty as he found it because, he's Jim. Why should he try? He's a mediocre man with a mediocre job that he puts mediocre work into. Pam should consider herself fortunate to have such a wonderful "partner."
The Philly job. "Oh man. Where to begin? I guess at the beginning where he didn't tell his wife and mother of his two small children that he took a job several hours away. Remember that wonderful little moment when Pam gives him the opportunity to tell her about it and he just lies to her face? Well how about that instance where he decides to invest what Pam describes as the majority of their savings on a whim? I guess their two children didn't really need to go to college. Oh and then he actually leaves her alone with their two kids so that he can relive his sophomore year of college (which based on his financial decisions those children will never likely get to experience for themselves). Divorce him. Divorce him immediately. Divorce him twice if possible.
And again he takes it out on Dwight. Pam is rightfully mad at him, so what does Jim do? He makes Dwight question whether or not he's infertile to get the office closed for environmental danger. When Dwight comes up with a temporary workspace, Jim manipulates that situation only so he can try and make himself feel better about hurting Pam. Then, because Dwight, who unlike Jim is capable of expressing feelings of sadness and remorse, is unable to go on with the trip because of the fake infertility that Jim convinced him of, Jim gets even madder at Dwight.
Jim has moments where he does perform acts of basic decency though. He supports his girlfriend for going to school, he doesn't let Dwight walk right into getting fired, and he returns home to his family after abandoning them.
Jim Halpert sucks.
TL;DR: Jim's a dick, and the real protagonist is The Office is Roy, whose only mistake was not waiting for Jim in the parking lot to beat the self-righteous smugness out of him.
Also want to clarify this is in no way an indictment of John Krasinski who seems like a decent dude in real life.
Edit: spelling
Edit 2: it's quite telling that despite all the downvotes, not a single defense of Jim's behavior throughout the show has been offered up.
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2020.08.21 20:03 autotldr Golden State Killer sentenced to life without possibility of parole

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 72%. (I'm a bot)
A former police officer known as the Golden State Killer for his crime spree across California in the 1970s and '80s was sentenced Friday to consecutive life sentences without the possibility of parole.
Sacramento County Superior Court Judge Michael Bowman said Friday in a rare sentencing statement that DeAngelo would "Meet his death confined behind the walls of state penitentiary."
"The court is not saying DeAngelo does not deserve to have the death penalty imposed," Bowman said, but given the age of the defendant and victims, a life sentence made more sense.
Prosecutors said DeAngelo admitted to harming 87 victims in 53 separate crimes spanning 11 California counties.
Some of DeAngelo's victims are in their 80s and 90s. Some are dead.But those who were willing and able spent the week addressing DeAngelo in court in anticipation of his sentencing.
"Joseph DeAngelo, henceforth called 'the devil incarnate,' broke into my home, blindfolded me, tied me up, threatened my life with a knife and raped me," she said, describing DeAngelo's modus operandi, which also included tying up partners and spending hours in homes, leaving his victims wondering what terror would come next.
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: DeAngelo#1 victims#2 crime#3 life#4 years#5
Post found in /news, /EARONS and /GoldenStateKiller.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
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2020.07.30 00:40 breadispain NHL Play-in Overview

Play-In Overview

Hey, folks! Long time, no see. I had gone quiet around here for several months before COVID-19 hit the NHL, and it’s been several more since without hockey at all. The last week of February I had several top three finishes in the breakaway and was making decent stabs into March before everything came to a halt. Much like the players themselves, I expect that people will be rusty making wagers. The contests aren’t particularly enticing though, especially considering the heavy losses sites took with unfilled GPPs for MLB and NBA milly makers. I’ll take what I can get.
If you’re new to NHL DFS, you can check out my annual NHL DFS Primer, though admittedly strategy here feels a bit more like throwing darts without much data to go on and a lot of curveball variables.
Note: at the time of writing none of the series have started yet and only the August 1 contests and salaries were posted. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


New York Rangers vs Carolina Hurricanes
The Rangers swept the Hurricanes this season. However, they were sellers at the deadline, losing Skjei (to the Canes!), which definitely hurts them defensively because their LD depth was already atrocious. On the flipside, the Canes have a laughable amount of defensive depth right now, which helps to soften the blow in losing Hamilton and Pesce to injuries. Vatanen doesn’t come cheap, but seems to be slotting into the top powerplay unit, which was previously occupied by Slavin. Slavin’s own salary is inflated from powerplay time at the end of the season. It feels like a reach to go with either player unless you’re doing a full four man stack here. DeAngelo seems like a high risk, high reward play for the Rangers, because his salary is also inflated but he did have some huge games to occasionally justify it. I think Adam Fox will go under the radar and could chip in a few points here and there as well, if you’re looking for value.
As far as the match-up goes, the Rangers are totally outmatched in depth, both for offense and defense. What makes this one interesting for DFS is just how hot the Rangers top six was toward the end of the curtailed season. Zibanejad had 75 points (41G, 34A) in only 57 games and might’ve eclipsed the 100 point mark if he could’ve sustained that pace for a full season. Panarin’s first year as a Ranger had him eclipse his previous point totals with 95 points (32G, 63A) in 69 games. These numbers are insane to me, especially considering a fair chunk of production came when they weren’t even linemates. Not to discount CAR1 as an option, but they’re quite expensive and Hurricanes tend to score as a team without relying on a single offensive line. NYR2 is easily attainable and could win you a GPP if that line picks up where they left off, and I’m not shying away from NYR1 either. It should be noted that the Rangers scored an average of 4.25 goals against the Hurricanes this season.
The other contributing factor in this series will be goaltending, as Mrazek has shown flourishes at times but isn’t exactly who I would want as my starting goalie headed into a playoff contest, while the Rangers theoretically are choosing between three goaltenders at this time. I would prefer to see what Shesterkin could do, but there’s a possibility that Lundqvist will be between the pipes, especially since he had success against the Canes in the past. He’s a reasonable value option with upside, and even more so if you’re looking on Draftkings, where he should hit the shot bonus night in, night out. I would be surprised if they made Georgiev their guy, though he still seems to be hanging in there. He’s basically priced at the floor, if that’s the case.
F: CAR1, Williams; NYR1, NYR2
D: Vatanen, Slavin, Deangelo, Fox
G: Lundqvist/Shesterkin
Florida Panthers vs New York Islanders
The Panthers just gave up five goals in their exhibition game. Granted, it was against the Tampa Bay Lightning, but that can’t be a confidence booster for the team or good for Bobrovsky’s morale. It also doesn’t help that the Isles swept their regular season matchup. For reasons unclear to me, NYI1 is priced in the same tier as McDavid’s and Crosby’s lines. There’s absolutely nothing about their point production that justifies this to me, and it’s even more mystifying when compared to NYI2, who actually had more points overall and will see easier deployment. I could see some people dipping down to Pageau or Cizikas as one offs for value, but I’m not personally on it. I might take a look at Pulock as a pivot on Draftkings where he will pick up solid peripherals and could chip in a point or two though. Greene is also likely to get the blocked shot bonus with a reasonable salary.
I’m not sure what broke for the Panthers this year, but unless their top line is reunited and happens to click, I expect an early exit for them in this season. They didn’t muster more than a goal a game against the Islanders and traded away Trocheck for Haula, while the Isles have even more depth now and should be able to shut them down completely. Hoffman had a decent season and remained a viable standalone option during the regular season, but I can’t even see myself getting to him here.
I’m expecting Varlamov in net over Greiss, but both options are affordable on either site. This seems like the safest bet all around to me.
F: NYI2, Pageau. Subject to change if Bob is worse than expected.
D: Pulock, Greene (DK)
G: Varlamov
Montreal Canadiens vs Pittsburgh Penguins
As a Montreal Canadiens fan it pains me to say this, but I have no hope whatsoever the Canadiens manage to steal this series. Our left defense is weak and we traded away Scandella, who was barely a bandaid for that problem anyway. We also ditched Thompson, who would’ve helped immensely on the penalty kill, as well as Kovalchuk. Meanwhile, Pittsburgh bolstered their already enviable top six by reuniting Sheary with Crosby (while also getting Guentzel back), recruiting a long-coveted Zucker to play with Malkin, and tossing in Marleau for good measure. Their fourth line is a defensive beast. The Pens are the Vegas favorites in the play-in for good reason. Hornqvist is a nightly contender for the Draftkings shot bonus and could also pick up powerplay points, so I don’t mind him as a one-off. The only hope the Habs have here will be creating turnovers in the neutral zone with their speed, so you might expect someone like Byron to be a situational value play or something. I will have a few shares of the Canadiens because I will be watching the games and will kick myself if MTL1 clicks, but they’re priced up and have a tough task ahead of them. Basically, the Pens have a top six where four players averaged over a point per game this season; the Habs have… one player that sniffed the possibility for a little while, maybe.
On defense, Petry is priced reasonably on Fanduel and will be eating up big minutes. If their exhibition game is any indication of how bad their powerplay is going to be (they gave up two shorthanded goals to the Leafs), I’m also hoping he takes Weber’s spot on the blue line, but it seems incredibly unlikely that happens. Weber will likely have a big game at some point in the series but I’m not sure his salary justifies the risk for me. The high-end defensive option is obviously Letang, though he is often a boom or bust candidate. I’m loving the value offered for Marino on defense and will be getting a lot of shares of him.
Even if Price was still the greatest goaltender in the world and he was priced at floor, it would be a considerable risk to play him. I’m avoiding him completely. I’m not sure whether Jarry or Murray is getting the nod in net. Both goalies are priced high and, though there is certainly upside there since the Habs do tend to shoot a lot of low risk pucks at the net, there are worse options.
F: PIT1, PIT2, Hornqvist; MTL1
D: Marino, Letang; Petry
G: Murray/Jarry (if you’re rich)
Toronto Maple Leafs versus Columbus Blue Jackets
The Columbus Blue Jackets still managed to win games this season, despite being decimated by significant injuries and not looking like they have much depth on paper when healthy. They lost Panarin and Bobrovsky in the off-season and I think many people, myself included, thought they would be a bottom-dwelling team for some time, even after their surprise upset of Tampa Bay in the first round of the playoffs last year. Merzlikins really showed up as well and won me some money on his hot streak. As far as DFS value though, their entire roster was capped below 50 points this season. They have a healthier lineup now, so when lines shake out there’s a possibility for breakout games from Bjorkstrand, Anderson, Atkinson, etc. but I would only really take a stab on Werenski here, and even then his salary isn’t palatable.
The Leafs offense is frustrating to me. Each of the top two lines have players that can offset the star salaries (Hyman; Mikheyev), which helps, but it’s impossible to tell which will go off and whether they’ll have full line correlation. Though Marner puts up a ton of points, he’s primarily a playmaker, and assists alone make it difficult to pay off his salary for DFS. With that said, it seems impossible to completely fade Matthews or Tavares in this series, and they are likely to be incredibly chalky. Mikheyev looked great in his return in the exhibition game. Hell, there’s even a chance the third line contributes a few goals here. I’m still taking Rielly over Barrie though, despite not getting the powerplay time. Muzzin will get some peripherals and could chip in a few points as well.
If Columbus wins, it’s tough to say whether it’ll be from a showstopping performance from their goaltender or a team effort blocking numerous shots. Either way, it seems like quite the gamble to go this route in net. Andersen is a better goalie than he gets credit for and the Leafs do tend to give up a lot of shots against, but considering his likely ownership percentage, I’m hoping he’s a bust.
F: Leafs.
D: Rielly, Muzzin; Werenski
G: Andersen, Merzlikins


Winnipeg Jets vs Calgary Flames
I feel bad for the Jets, I really do. They lost basically their entire defense core and several key forwards in a single offseason. They really had to change up their strategy this season to compensate and it has hurt the production of their top six a bit, even if WPG1 still maintained a point per game pace. Pionk was a pleasant surprise, and Hellebuyck put up a Vezina-caliber season, but this doesn’t feel like a playoff team to me anymore. Thankfully, neither does this season’s iteration of the Calgary Flames, which is interesting because not much changed from last season when they were at the top of their division. They have not faced each other yet in 2020. Anything could happen in the playoffs definitely holds true with this series.
At a glance, it looks like the Jets have the better goaltender, but the Flames have the better defense. Both have a viable top six, though CGY1 is considerably cheaper on Draftkings. CGY2 and WPG2 are stackable with most anything, which makes them enticing considering both have upside. CGY1 and WPG1 both have multipoint upside as well. This whole series is a bit of a head scratcher for me though, because I’m undecided if we’ll see tight 2-1 playoff hockey or a shooting gallery. My only take is that there is a lot of potential here, from Hellebuyck in net for GPP upside, to either side breaking the slate. Gustafsson is very accessible if he usurps the PP1 spot from Giordano again, though I don’t see it happening unless he’s already logging huge minutes.
D: Gustafsson (value)
G: Hellebuyck.
Chicago Blackhawks vs Edmonton Oilers
Hindsight is 2020 and they likely would’ve rolled with Crawford anyway, but flipping Lehner at the trade deadline seems like an awful mistake right now. My hunch is that the Oilers are sticking to Koskinen, but if game one goes badly I could see them throwing Smith into the crease as well.
It goes without saying who the players to watch in this series will be, but getting to them is complicated by some line juggling. It’s worth noting the Hawks scored three goals in all three games this season. It’s safe to play Kane alone as he works his way opportunistically up and down the lineup, at least. Why Kubalik is currently stuck with Dach on the third line when he was playing so well with Toews only makes me think Toews and Saad will be tasked with shutting down… the entire top six of the Oilers, since whichever line isn’t up against Toews is going to have a lot of fun in this series. My guess is that it will be the Draisaitl line, which is why I’m really hoping Nuge drops down to EDM2 soon. That line was one of the best in the league headed into our unplanned break here. As it stands, having Draisaitl with both Yamamoto and Ennis offers huge salary relief that allows this line to be paired with almost anything though, so I’m leaning on that.
With Gustafsson no longer in the lineup and Seabrook out, Keith is going to be playing big minutes and getting powerplay time. He seems like a decent mid-range value option to me right now on Draftkings. As long as Klefbom is healthy and on the top powerplay, he deserves a solid look even if you could pay up for others, though his salary is a bit off-putting. Players like Russell and De Haan probably see some value on Draftkings for the shot block bonus alone. Nurse is also a reasonable pick, though I would likely pay up for Klefbom, if possible.
F: EDM2, McDavid; Kane
D: Keith; Klefbom, Russell (DK)
G: Nope.
Arizona Coyotes vs Nashville Predators
Without looking, can you guess who led the Predators in points this season? When your best player is a defenseman even though you sacrificed plenty to build your top six, you can’t be very happy with the results. Josi was one of the top defensemen in the league this year and deserves a spot in any lineup that can afford him, regardless of competition. He plays big minutes, he blocks, he shoots, and he has almost a point per game. Beyond him and his defensive partner, Ellis, the Predators are seriously underwhelming for DFS options. Sure, there’s a chance you’ll find value from Jarnkrok, Bonino, Smith, etc. or maybe Ekholm on the backend, but the probability of Forsberg or Arvidsson getting you a hat trick with Johansen even touching the puck on the play feels like a distant memory right now.
That’s not to say the Coyotes look any better though. Chychrun always stands out as a value play to me, as has Goligoski from time to time. Hall has some potential but is unlikely to pay off his salary. Garland outperformed Kessel, so if his salary is reasonable, I’d look there. All in all though, this one is likely to come down to goaltender upside more than anything.
F: There’s value upside here (Garland; Bonino, Jarnkrok) and Hall
D: Josi, Ellis; Chychrun
G: Whomever is starting has potential
Vancouver Canucks vs Minnesota Wild
The post-Sedin era for the Canucks seems promising a lot faster than anticipated. I had personally wanted the Habs to draft Hughes over Kotkaniemi and he seems to be living up to expectations. Everything in the top six seems to be going right, with JT Miller and Toffoli slotting in well next to Pettersson, and Pearson being a huge upgrade over Eriksson with Horvat and a now-healthy Boeser (who is from Minnesota, for whatever that’s worth). Edler is still a peripheral beast, though he has lost some edge on points without as much powerplay time. Markstrom is settling in while Demko warms up. They’re going to be in cap hell soon, but for now: weee! A lot of people are going to be trying to ride this train to the bank.
They actually didn’t have much success against the Wild this season, however, and a well-rested core of veterans playing a tight defensive system could pose a few problems for the Canucks. Fiala was red hot down the stretch. At the time of the Granlund trade that seemed like another in a series of terrible moves, but that actually seems to have paid off. There are some other potential value picks throughout this lineup if a depth line gets hot, but you’re probably safe not looking at them. Suter and Spurgeon offer upside with big minutes, peripherals and powerplay time, while Dumba is likely to be dirt cheap and could regain his former glory.
F: VAN1, VAN2; Fiala
D: Hughes; SuteSpurgeon, Dumba
G: Maybe?
submitted by breadispain to dfsports [link] [comments]

2020.07.23 18:56 grizwald87 I have a new favorite boxing movie, and I want to use it to illustrate some principles of GRUNT.

Yesterday I published a post on here about how to build a compelling story, and it was on my mind when I rewatched Bleed For This and realized that it had done the impossible and surpassed Cinderella Man as the greatest boxing movie of all time (in my opinion).
I want to break it down in a way that hopefully explains some of the benefits of keeping GRUNT in mind when understanding what makes a story work. If you haven't watched the movie, obviously, insanely heavy spoilers. If you have access to it, I recommend cueing it up to watch alongside the shitpile of annotations I'm about to drop.
What I especially want to drive home is the constant, continuous interplay of the "molecules" of exposition, tension, and pay-off. All three are present both big-picture and in the smallest nuances of every scene in a way that captivates the audience and constantly reinforces and explicates theme.
Opening scene: immediate tension and efficient exposition. A room full of people whispering, something is wrong. The cause is quickly made clear by subtle reference to an empty chair on the stage, and people looking at the clock. Somebody is not where they're supposed to be. You don't need to understand anything about boxing to understand the issue.
As the scene develops and people make excuses for why our protagonist isn't present to weigh in, we both learn more about why it all matters from dialogue cues, but we also see the tension ratcheted up in half a dozen small ways: his teammates lying for him, their apparent distress, and our hero suffering on an exercise bicycle, desperately trying to lose the last few ounces required to make weight.
Also notice how with a few words and a gesture or two, we've established that Vinny's girlfriend doesn't really care much about him and vice versa: the writer wants us to know right away that she isn't going to be playing the role of loyal partner. Exposition, tension.
When Vinny makes weight, boom, we have pay-off. Right there, we have a complete story within a story. Notice how further exposition is woven into the pay-off, which is itself enhanced, by our hero taking the opportunity to talk smack to his opponent.
5:30: In the next scene, we see Vinny's father lying to him about getting an early night's sleep ahead of the big match, and ironically, Vinny also lying to his father about doing the same before both men separately sneak out to go gamble. Tension: Vinny's not taking this seriously, is he going to get beat because of it? But also exposition in service of establishing equilibrium: we now know that for both Vinny and his father, a championship fight is just business as usual, nothing to be nervous about. Vinny's subsequent behaviour while gambling also services exposition and tension: we begin to see a pattern developing of Vinny being a reckless person, and we wonder if and when this is going to end up costing him. This is partially balanced by the pay-off of his big win and subsequent joyful sex scene with his girlfriend, which is fun to watch and also benefits the uncertainty inherent to the tension: does it matter if he's reckless if he's winning?
7:00: We cut to the fight the next evening, which goes terribly. Note that the loss itself doesn't impact us much, because we don't really care yet and we don't know what's at stake. Like Vinny, we're treating all this as business as usual.
10:00: Great exposition in the scene where Vinny is told he has ketosis. In mere seconds, it's reinforced that Vinny is willing to suffer for his trade, that his father is happy to let Vinny suffer for that success, but that the equilibrium can't continue. Exposition, tension.
11:00: Vinny rewatches tape of his loss. Tension through suffering, but also subtle exposition: Vinny's attention is total and he's taking notes. He might be reckless and cocky, but he's not stupid and he's not lazy.
The real tension comes at 12:00 from the comment from Vinny's promoter after the fight that it's time for Vinny to retire. This is powerful because Vinny's equilibrium is well and truly destroyed: things can't continue as they have been. Boom, inciting incident. One way or the other, something's gotta change.
15:00: Vinny radiates commitment to boxing, so we don't need a scene where Vinny has a crisis of faith just in order to have a formulaic "yes I will!" moment. That would ring hollow. Instead, the writer attacks Vinny's issues directly to give him an opportunity at a legitimate moment of commitment. Vinny's promoter sets him up with a session with Kevin Rooney, a trainer who used to be somebody but is efficiently established as a washed-up alcoholic: tension. During Vinny and Kevin's initial hostile banter in which Kevin makes it sound like even this session is a meaningless gesture (tension), we get critical exposition about both Vinny's and Kevin's career status, Kevin's personal vices, and critically, more reinforcement of the movie's core theme: we have a protagonist who's an odd mix of virtues and vices: cocky but committed to the game, reckless but willing to suffer. Vinny has the heart of a champion, and we're beginning to realize that we're seeing the ceiling of how far heart alone will take you in the boxing game. Brilliant exposition and tension interwoven.
Good thing Kevin's a talented trainer. He puts Vinny in the ring for a sparring session against a fighter 50 pounds heavier than what Vinny currently fights at: tension. Vinny is clearly uncomfortable with the prospect of sparring with him: tension. But Vinny does surprisingly well! Ah, pay-off. Well-earned and enjoyable. Notice that the film just told another little story: exposition, tension, pay-off. It set up an unfair fight, made it clear how unfair it was, showed Vinny nervous about it, and then had our hero win it. This is also a cog in a slightly larger story, which is the story of Kevin evaluating Vinny. It set up an evaluation session (exposition) with a washed up trainer and an over the hill fighter (tension), and then it gives us the pay-off of Kevin informing Vinny that he's been cutting corners fighting in lower weight classes, and that he would be a better fighter if he stopped cutting so much weight pre-fight. The metamorphic revelation of hidden potential in Vinny is big pay-off, bigger even than watching him drop a bigger fighter.
So that's a second level of story, but it also serves the overarching narrative by giving Vinny a real opportunity for commitment: he's told that if he takes what is established as a big career risk (exposition, tension) he can potentially make a comeback. So when Vinny agrees, he leaves his comfort zone in a way the audience respects. He's made a leap, taken a risk, set off for the Lonely Mountain (pay-off, but also fresh tension). We see now in this scene the fractal nature of GRUNT: three interlocking, mutually supporting levels of exposition, tension, and pay-off in the same scene.
21:00: So now we've seen equilibrium, inciting incident, commitment, and right on cue we get metamorphosis in the form of a training montage. Pure pay-off, lots of fun, but even in the middle of it, the writer is weaving in exposition and tension: Vinny gets beaned and the music stops (tension), before shaking it off and getting back to it (pay-off, but also exposition, reinforcing that Vinny is a tough guy willing to accept pain). We also see another dialogue between Kevin and Vinny that provides exposition, tension, and pay-off all at once while reinforcing theme: Kevin begins to gently criticize Vinny for having the heart of a champion but not the brain of a champion, distinguishing his willingness to suffer (good) with his willingness to take unnecessary suffering (bad). We have it driven home that this is going to be a long-term problem for Vinny, but it's not pure tension: it's also pay-off because it's a moment of tender bonding between Kevin and Vinny.
25:00: Kevin meets the family, and most importantly, the father, who's Vinny's manager. Deangelo is pissed that Kevin's moved Vinny up two weight classes (tension), he's worried Vinny's cruising for an embarrassing defeat against bigger fighters (more tension), but we also have subtle and valuable exposition that reinforces Deangelo's territoriality surrounding Vinny's training to date.
The tension ratchets up further in the next few scenes, slowly growing into crisis proportions, when Kevin reveals in a pissed off rant to Vinny's promoter that Vinny's first fight at his new weight class is a set-up designed for Vinny to lose - and worse, the promoters undermine the audience's faith in Kevin's own motivations for giving Vinny the advice to move up two weight classes: another great mix of contextual exposition and tension. The pre-fight press conference between Vinny and his opponent reveals that the opponent is the most unnerving possible brand of quiet confidence, and Kevin and Vinny squabble the night before the fight, where the theme of Vinny's recklessness is once more explicated, and deepened. We have to ask ourselves some tough questions about where confidence becomes recklessness, and where, to quote Kevin, a risk become a gamble.
34:00: So we've got our first crisis finally culminating: a fight that it sure looks like Vinny is going to lose. He nearly does (tension), before finally accepting some of Kevin's wisdom about fighting smart, not just with heart, and knocking out his opponent. Metamorphosis through personal growth! And a big pay-off to boot, big enough that we can call it a climax, since it pays off tension established in multiple scenes. The writer knows this is a big moment where a lot of tension is being released, and he takes his time letting the audience enjoy it with a long celebration montage, including a fun scene at a strip club and lots of witty dialogue.
42:00: So now here's an interesting structural element of the film: it ain't over yet. Vinny is back in a new, happy equilibrium, and after a scene that amounts to a victory lap that lets the audience get a feel for that new equilibrium, we have a second inciting incident: Vinny gets in a freak car accident and suffers a serious spinal injury. And that's fine! You can have more than one. Vinny is once more torn from equilibrium, but it doesn't represent a pacing issue, because this inciting incident is even bigger than the last one, keeping the audience interested.
I'm not going to get into the cut and thrust of the tension that follows, except to note the obvious, which is that it gets piled on in spades, as is right and proper: protagonist suffering is a vitamin the audience needs whether they know it or not, and it's time they got a nice big dose.
1:08: A new inciting incident requires confirmation of commitment by the protagonist, and the writer dutifully delivers with a scene that serves as another miniature story: Vinny secretly setting out to bench press a barbell in the family basement. We have wordless exposition of just how bad his injury really is from his pain and from his repeated failure to lift even the lightest weights, as well as the need for secrecy from his family, which is communicated via the efforts he takes to keep the noise down. The tension of whether he'll re-injure himself is unbearable, and when he finally manages to lift just the bar, we have pay-off. Commitment is achieved in grand style.
Now a much more intense metamorphosis begins, and this one is also a mix of revelation of Vinny's worthy character and his growth by slowly healing his body. Note that it's kept fresh not just because it's a different journey than becoming a better boxer, but it's also a different metamorphosis on a character level: after spending half the story telling us that Vinny needs to stop being reckless and willing to embrace pain, we now see how necessary those same traits are to get Vinny back out of the black pit he finds himself in. So we have not just a deepening but a complicating of the theme: where is the balance? As Kevin is roped into the process, his character, the voice of conservatism and caution, moves to meet Vinny halfway, and through him, the theme suggests that it's not one or the other between head and heart, it's a delicate balance between both required to be a champion.
1:11: Note that the second process of metamorphosis is also fractal, its own miniature story: Vinny has to convince Kevin to help him train in his injured state, and the writer pumps up the tension of Kevin's refusal (crisis), lets it sit over the course of several scenes, before finally bringing Kevin on board in a powerful scene that provides plenty of pay-off. Now the pay-off of the training montage that follows is powered not just by the big-picture tension of Vinny's attempt to recover, but the resolved tension of Kevin's initial unwillingness to assist. Stories within stories, tension within tension, which then cascade into major pay-offs that become exponentially more emotionally powerful.
I'm not going to go through the rest of the film in depth, because now that I'm showing it, I expect you'll be able to see it in everything that follows.
Some other minor notes: everything emotionally pays off, even the minor stuff: Chekov would be proud. All emotional guns hung over the mantelpiece are fired. Throughout the film, from the opening minutes, we see that Vinny goes through girlfriends in volume, none of whom seem to care any more about him than he cares about them. In a late scene (1:18), Vinny's newest girlfriend tells his family that she doesn't care about the medical halo screwed to his head, and the tension that's been quietly building about Vinny's full and yet empty love life is suddenly, unexpectedly paid off. We don't know if Vinny ends up marrying her, but it doesn't matter, because climaxes aren't about giving the audience the factual answers, it's about giving them the emotional answers, and there's an emotional answer now to Vinny's love life: he has reason to hope for happiness, and so do we. Likewise his father, whose territoriality and willingness to let Vinny suffer for his career is a troubling motif, eventually develops sufficient empathy for his son's suffering that he stops cornering him and begins to care more about his personal health than for his success as a fighter.
It's a quietly brilliant movie, and I think it displays both the utility and the flexibility of the GRUNT approach to analyzing fiction. Telling a story is not a plodding game of hopscotch from one predetermined plot element to the next, where the writer is waiting to deliver tension until after the exposition is finished, after which they'll get around to the pay-off. It's a micro-level river of all three plot molecules that a good writer never stops attempting to deliver, never stops caring about with every sentence, and then eventually scales up as they work into ever-greater, ever more powerful structures composed of the same substrate.
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2020.07.09 07:45 Justwonderinif Golden State Killer Timeline V

<<< Golden State Killer Timeline IV
Tuesday, August 18, 2020
Wednesday, August 19
Golden State Killer Timeline VI>>>
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2020.07.09 03:27 Justwonderinif Golden State Killer Timeline V

<<< Golden State Killer Timeline IV
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2020.07.04 23:46 Justwonderinif Golden State Killer Timeline V

<<< Golden State Killer Timeline IV
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2020.02.10 18:34 HockeyPowerRanker r/hockey NHL Power Rankings Week 19: Pacific Losers Edition

/Hockey NHL Power Rankings Week Feb 3, 2020 - Feb 9, 2020

Thank You

Thank you to all of the volunteers doing the power rankings. Each ranker has their own system and have their own reasonings and analyis. It truly is a lot of work.






The visualization contains historical data, so you can see how your team has done over time. Hopefully, we can run this for many years in hopes that we can see the rise and fall of teams by /hockey opinion.
It automatically updates so feel free to bookmark. You can find it here


How does this work? Throughout the course of the week rankers are able to access an app that will allow them to rank teams. At the end of the period we calculate the average ranking for every team and collate all of the analysis provided by rankers.
The app then generates a post that is first proofread and then posted to /hockey!


Ranking (avg) Team Delta Overall Record Record This Week Comments
1 (2) Tampa Bay Lightning 1 35-15-5 3-0-0 Man this team is HOT right now. Vasy has been unreal, with a .941 since coming back from the break. Stamkos has 8 in the past 7, and the rest of that first line has been pretty good too. Cirelli has been making a case for himself for Selke. The only concern right now is the PP dying, going 0 for 6 this week. GRAVY. TRAIN. GRAVY WIT YO DAME.
2 (2.83) Boston Bruins 2 34-11-12 3-1-0 Thanks NHL for two traveling back-to-backs this week. Great scheduling there. I will also blame you for Halak getting sick. Well, the Bruins have been chugging along as of late, winning games. The Bruins blanked the Canucks and then amazingly won in OT against the Blackhawks, I won't talk about the whistle. The Bruins eked out a win against the stingy Coyotes before heading to Detroit. The Bruins decided they had enough of this winning thing and took a polar plunge into Lake Michigan against the Red Wings. Bruins actually played well against the Red Wings but a sloppy turnover and a goal overturned due to interminable offside review [please fix this!] and it was another L against the Red Wings this season.
3 (3.17) Washington Capitals -2 36-14-5 1-1-0 The count to 700 is on. I for one am hoping for a call worthy of this achievement. Might be while till we see the next one.
4 (4.07) Pittsburgh Penguins -1 34-15-5 1-1-0
5 (6.45) Colorado Avalanche 2 32-16-6 4-0-0 Really good week for the Avs. The solid process from the Flyers game carried through this week. The team was just solid all around. The biggest game was against the red hot Blue Jackets and for a 2-1 game there was tons of action, both goalies were outstanding. Honestly this team is on fire and when the process is good is near unstoppable. The big questions as the Trade Deadline nears is what do the Avs need I think another Top 6 forward is about all that hits the top of the wish list. Big homestand starts this week with the Outdoor game at the Airforce Academy Saturday get hyped for some crisp outdoor air and action. Makalder update: Cale is rested from the break and hitting his stride again 5 points in 4 games this week. Shout out to his partner Ryan Graves he has become a steady Rock on D and is barely not a rookie this year himself.
6 (7.31) St. Louis Blues -1 32-15-9 1-1-1 The Blues are in a slump right now, and although we have a bit of a cushion on the division lead, we need to pick it up soon. Look for Allen to get more starts and Armstrong to make a smart deal for a top-6 guy (if it looks like Senko won't be soon enough)
7 (7.72) Columbus Blue Jackets 2 30-17-9 2-1-0 The Jackets' second 10 game point streak came to an end on Saturday thanks to a late goal by the Avs. Our lack of raw goal scoring has been apparent the past few games, as we've scored 3 non-empty net goals in the past 3 games (but won 2 of those). Our defense is second to none, but we can't rely on winning every game 1-0.
8 (9.31) Carolina Hurricanes 4 32-20-3 2-1-0 At this point in the Metro if you aren’t going to have more than a 100 points at the end of the season you aren’t going to make the playoffs.
9 (10.52) New York Islanders 2 31-16-6 2-1-0 Overall it was a decent week, with wins against the Stars and Kings, and a road loss against a streaking Tampa team. Their play still is far from the best it has been under Trotz, but they found ways to win. Bellows looks like a welcome addition as a shoot-first player on a team with very few of those. Barzal more than anybody needs to find a way to kick it into a higher gear for the Isles to both make the playoffs, and get a favorable seed.
10 (10.79) Philadelphia Flyers 4 30-18-7 2-1-0 I don't know why we even bother ranking the flyers. I watch almost every game and I have no clue what's going to happen. The loss to the devil's stings but I still feel like they didn't regress, they can still destroy the caps if they want to.
11 (10.86) Dallas Stars 2 31-19-5 2-1-1 The boys keep squeezing out points after starting behind in most. 5 of 6 pts on a road trip is great, and 2 big pts against STL. Hintz and Guri are the real deal and continue to impress. Looks like Stars and Avs could be a potential first round matchup, just like the early 2000's.
12 (11.79) Toronto Maple Leafs -4 29-19-8 1-2-1 Michael Hutchison, who before this week seemed like he was back on track as a solid backup, completely fell apart. He came into an important game against the Panthers after Andersen was taken out (thankfully not out long, or you could have kissed the Leafs' season goodbye). In that game he and Ceci struggled, blowing a 3-1 lead and losing ground in the division. After Hutch tripped on nothing and had a hard time picking up his stick, he let up a GWG to the Rangers, and enough was enough for Dubas and the Leafs. They acquired G Jack Campbell (who's looked solid through 2 starts) and F Kyle Clifford (depth, strong veteran) in exchange for F Trevor Moore (LA Native, was expendable with Leafs' offensive depth) and picks. Matthews (can he keep up with Ovi? Probably not, but let's enjoy the ride) and the Leafs will look to get back in the win colum on Tuesday vs Arizona.
13 (12.07) Vancouver Canucks -7 30-21-5 0-3-0 If the Canucks had simply ended their road trip with a couple losses, people wouldn’t mind. But losing at home against the Flames after a week and whatever on the road hurts. It hurts bad. So bad that Boeser is out for a few days. So bad that someone brought up Gudbranson. And so Canucks fans continue to revel in teenage angst whenever they are reminded this is a bubble team. Next week, the Sedins’ jerseys will be lifted while the team is at its highest point percentage in half a decade.
14 (12.97) Edmonton Oilers -4 29-20-6 1-2-0 Apparently, I cannot stop jinxing this team. The Oilers say an incredibly bad stretch of play for 7 straight periods before they got their shit in order to beat the Preds. Unfortunately, this meant regulation losses to the Yotes and the Sharks in some poor effort games. The absence of Neal is starting to show on the powerplay and the effectiveness of the first line. It's either McDavid rush leading to a goal or almost nothing for 5-on-5 play. The second line has slowed a touch too, but Draisaitl is chugging along just fine. Again, effort seems to be the missing variable for the last week. Tippett is unhappy with that too, so look for things to not remain this way for too long. Fortunately, the Pacific has a whole (except the Sharks and Ducks) shit the bed this week, so things are still within reach. If we can pick wins this week against the Hawks, Lightning, Panthers and Canes; we can create some separation, but all these teams are good and won't make it easy. Shout out to Smith for picking up his 600th c
15 (14.45) Florida Panthers - 29-19-6 1-2-1 This was the ugliest hockey the Panthers have played all season. The effort wasn't there and they didn't look ready to play. Surprisingly enough, the only one that showed up was Bob and he showed up big for some games. Overall, this week was like Mike Ricci, not pretty to look at, but still quite good.
16 (16.03) Vegas Golden Knights - 28-21-8 1-1-1 Despite Vegas recent good play, the 3rd period collapse against the Hurricanes showed the team still has a lot to work on. Hopefully William Karlsson's return will help the team's dismal power play and questionable penalty kill. But overall the team has played great and has controlled the puck more often than not since the break. Fleury's play is starting to be a concern for some fans as he has not played to his standards of late.
17 (17.31) Calgary Flames - 28-22-6 1-2-0
18 (17.62) Winnipeg Jets 1 29-23-5 3-0-1
19 (18.34) Montreal Canadiens 4 27-23-7 3-0-0 3 straight wins kept us alive, but none of those wins were easy (even the Leafs!) With the trade deadline coming up and 4 big games next week (including visits to BOS and PIT), you get the sense the whole season is riding on this moment. Price is playing like his best games might be in the days ahead, and we've given the keys to Suzuki and it looks like the kid can drive. Hopefully, after the fever finally breaks, we might even have a (mostly) healthy roster! Knock on wood, over and over. Let's go, boys! Anything can happen, really. But one thing is certain: if the Habs end up making the playoffs somehow, it's because Kovalchuk is a Hart trophy candidate. Do you believe? (don't answer that...) GO HABS GO!
20 (20.24) Nashville Predators 1 26-21-7 2-1-0 Have the Preds turned a corner? Are they going to drag us along all the way to the final game of the season asking that question?
21 (20.45) Arizona Coyotes -3 26-23-8 1-2-0 At this point, the Coyotes can't decide if they want to win the division or go golfing in early April. An outstanding performance against Edmonton was the shining moment of the week while they put together a couple tough losses against the Bruins and Hurricanes. If this team wants to make a run, they need to start finding the back of the net or they'll be missing out of the playoffs altogether.
22 (21.45) New York Rangers - 27-23-4 2-2-0 Interesting week for sure. We opened with a not-so-fun game against the Stars that we lost 5-3. Next we moved on to a much more fun game against the Leafs, which we won 5-3. Next we played about 15 minutes of hockey against the Sabres, going down 3-0 until we scored twice in the last three minutes, but that was way too late. To end the week we played a very good game against the Kings. We maintained a 1-0 lead until the third period, where Kakko (!), Panarin, and DeAngelo scored and we went on to win 4-1. Shesty has continued to look great and Chytil and Kakko are looking great. Bread, Zibby, and Kreider have all looked fantastic this week as well. Hopefully we can put together a few wins before the deadline, when I expect us to sell off a few players and play a little worse. But until then, let's keep playing hard, boys. LGR!
23 (21.72) Minnesota Wild 2 26-23-6 3-1-0 All of a sudden it makes sense that Charles Schulz, creator of Peanuts, was a Minnesotan. Wild fans are Charlie Brown and this team is Lucy, just continuously pulling the ball away from us. Every time we're convinced that they're going to tank, they turn around and dominate games. Meanwhile Bruce Boudreau is still doing his darndest to coach this group but his yells are just being perceived as garbled trombone noises. Eventually the Wild faithful are gonna square up and kick that ball for once, but knowing the luck of the Minnesota sports fan the kick will be pushed wide to the left.
24 (22.24) Chicago Blackhawks -4 25-22-8 0-1-2 The Blackhawks struggled to put together a full 60-minute effort this week. After poor starts against Minnesota and Boston, they managed to get a point by forcing overtime. However, after a great start against Winnipeg last night, they fell apart. Toews earned his 800th point. The PK has been good, while the PP has floundered. DeBrincat has disappointed this season.
25 (25.41) Buffalo Sabres -1 24-24-8 1-2-1 The long march to .500 has at last come to an end. Getting beat by our very own Ryan Miller to seal the deal just seems right. It's a shame he likely won't win the cup, and I really mean that. In other news, Jason Botterill has to feel the burning stare of the collective fanbase as he does nothing while we watch this season burst into flame and come crashing down as the Hindenburg once did. And no, calling up Amerks isn't good enough anymore. I feel bad for Jack.
26 (25.72) San Jose Sharks 1 24-27-4 2-0-0 Not a bad week for the Sharks, considering the injuries we have right now. I accepted that we're not making the playoffs a couple weeks ago, so I've been watching the games with a more forward looking mindset. The future is gonna suck. Our top players looked better this week than they have most of the season, which was thankfully enough to grab 2 wins against good division rivals. It'll be interesting watching the Sharks play with a significant number of AHLers, I can't remember the last time we had this many big injuries destroy our centre depth. Hopefully the playing time helps the young players develop, and next year they can play well in depth roles once Hertl and Couture are back. Aaron Dell is also looking more and more like his old self under Nabokov, now we just have to hope for the same to happen with Jones.
27 (26.07) Anaheim Ducks -1 24-26-6 2-0-2 Ducks look to have turned a corner away from embracing the tank and into tweening from tanking to competing for 5th in the division. Will be boring at the trade deadline but who knows?
28 (27.83) New Jersey Devils 1 20-24-10 2-0-1 What a fucking week. Next up is 2 hopefully winnable matches and 2 metro games. We'll have to wait and see how this next week goes, but the Blake Coleman hype train is in full swing CHOO CHOO BITCHES. The Good: All hail our lord and savior Mackenzie Blackwood. Shut out in back to back games against the Kings and Flyers stopping 83 in total. Coleman, Wood, Palms, and Bratt all putting up decent points. Oh and we did all this without Vatanen or Nico. The Bad: Nothing that really pertains to this week specifically. Hard to argue with 2 shutouts and 8 goals for. The Ugly: "Yeah, maybe I shouldn't get teeth." MacBlack no baby please you so beautiful but damn does missing 4 front teeth detract from that a little.
29 (29) Ottawa Senators -1 18-26-11 0-2-1
30 (29.55) Los Angeles Kings - 19-33-5 0-4-0 I feel like I'm putting in more effort into power rankings than the Kings are putting in on the ice. AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING. A beautiful 0-4 week, and a 'big' trade: Kyle Clifford and Soupy (Campbell) for Trever (who spells Trevor like that?) Moore and a pair of third-round players who will fade out of the NHL faster than that model who tried to blackmail Jaromir Jagr. It's been a rough week-scratch that- rough season.
31 (30.69) Detroit Red Wings 0 14-39-4 2-2-0 Nothing can make you forget about a tank like the sweet SWEET victory over a rival and especially one that plays in your division, is an O6 team, and is first in the league. Sure the Bruins had only 16 hours of rest and sure they didnt have their best outing. In a season of so much frustration and despair, clinging onto something as simple as a 5-0 record against Montreal and Boston can make you feel so good for at least one day over this nine month adventure that is the Yzerplan tank. Tell me Red Wings fans, did you not have a pep in your step Sunday afternoon after that W?
submitted by HockeyPowerRanker to hockey [link] [comments]

2019.11.07 20:58 AsDeathBeckons I summoned a demon, but it doesn't know what the hell it's doing Pt.4

The clock was old. Like...really fucking old. It was a miracle that the damn thing even worked. The slow, monotonous tick emanating from it was driving me crazy. I know for a fact that this was by design. Maybe they thought I would succumb to the psychological torture here in the interrogation room and confess to the murder of the asshole known as Jackson Peterson. Maybe they were right; At this point, I was definitely considering it.
The door to the room opened and two men in black suits stepped in. One of them looked like a sleazeball and the other looked like a sleazier ball. I wasn't sure which was the good cop.
"DeAngelo Matthews. I'm Detective Spilner, this is Detective Williams, we're here to figure out why you killed your best friend."
I stared at him for a moment, then looked down at the table, massaging my temple. "I don't know how many times I have to say it. I didn't kill him. I hate his guts, but I didn't kill him. I had nothing to do with your cop buddies, either. How are they doing by the way?"
Spilner looked just as annoyed as I was. "Listen, pal, we're gonna be the ones asking the questions. Let's gather the facts. You were the last person seen with Mr. Peterson before his untimely disappearance. There was animosity between you and Mr. Peterson, for personal reasons of course. You wanna talk about that?"
"I'm assuming my bitch of an ex Natalie is the one who claimed she saw me with Jackson last. What else did she say she saw?" I asked, feigning ignorance. The two detectives glanced at each other.
"Look, DeAngelo, we just want to get to the bottom of this. And if that means keeping you in this room for the next two weeks, then-"
Spilner paused, reaching into his pocket to pull out his ringing cellphone. He glanced at me before turning around and answering. "Spilner here. Yeah, I'm here with him right now...Oh? Are you, alright. Alright then."
He hung up, looked at his partner again, then turned back to me. "There's been an development, Mr. Matthews. It seems that your friend, Mr. Peterson, is alive and well."
I barely held in the yelp of surprise that had threatened to bust out. What? How? It couldn't be...
"Well, that's good to hear, Detective. Can I go now? I actually have things to do."
Spilner still looked suspicious as he glared at me. "Sure thing, Mr. Matthews. We'll get you your belongings back at the desk in the booking room. But this isn't over by any means. We're gonna be keeping an eye on you."
I stood outside the police station, checking the time on my piece of shit, nearly dead phone. Where the hell was Ollie? I had called him to pick me up almost an hour before and he still wasn't there. He and I needed to talk about this "new development." I was considering walking my ass home when I heard the familiar rumble of Ollie's slightly-less-piece-of-shit car eeking down the street. When I saw who was in the passenger seat, I nearly shit my pants.
Jackson was sitting there, skin pale as death, his eyes bloodshot. He wore what looked like an old, ripped shirt that belonged to well as a red scarf around his neck. He smiled and waved when he saw me, a sight that was even more strange than seeing him alive.
"Hop in, nimrod," laughed Ollie. I climbed into the backseat and Ollie pulled away from the police station at top speed, which, for his car, was 17 m.p.h.
Jackson turned and looked into the backseat at me. "Hey, man! What's your name?"
His voice was raspy and gravelly, most likely due to the fact that he had a large gash in his throat hidden underneath the scarf.
"Hey, buddy, I'm...DeAngelo. Don't you remember me?"
"He doesn't remember anything, apparently," muttered Ollie. "But I told him how you and I are his closest friends. I'm gonna drop him off at Natalie's now."
"Natalie is such a pretty name. I hope she's really pretty. I like pretty girls," Jackson gushed. I was dumbfounded. This had Ex written all over it. Still, I held my tongue until after Ollie pulled up at my old place and Jackson got out.
"Thanks for the ride guys! I'll call you!"
"Sounds good mate!" yelled Ollie, and he drove off at the speed of molasses.
"Do you want to tell me what the fuck that was about? How in the hell is he alive? I watched you put a fork in his throat this morning!"
Ollie picked at his teeth, pulling out two long hairs. "When I told Ex about how you got arrested, he felt bad for you. So he brought Jackson back from the dead. Lucky for us, I guess amnesia is a side effect of being six feet under."
"So let me get this straight. I summoned a demon to kill the biggest asshole I have ever known. The demon turns out to be a pacifist and he and I are spotted kidnapping said asshole. The demon still won't kill the asshole but he does help me hide the body once you help us out. I go to fucking jail for the murder I didn't commit...and the demon brings the asshole back to life. Dude, we're back at fucking square one!"
"Just be happy you're not in jail anymore, asshole. We're going downtown now."
"Why downtown?"
Ollie shot me a look. "Because you still need a job."
We didn't get back home for another three hours. At this point, I was exhausted, pissed, and hungry. I walked straight to my room, wondering if the little old lady at the antique shop would hire me. She seemed to be the only person who had shown any interest. When I opened my bedroom door, I found Ex lying in my bed, my headphones in his ears, and my laptop in his lap. He was gripping in his tail in his right hand, and gave a start when he saw me.
"Oh, hey, D! I didn't think you'd be home so soon!"
"Ex what the fuck are you doing in my bed? What are you..." I trailed off, noticing the half-empty bottle of baby oil on the dresser, as well as the box of tissues on the bed beside the hellspawn. Then I gagged.
"Ex...are you beating your meat to porn in my bed?"
"Whoa! Hold on now, first off, I have no idea how to do that. I just oiled my tail up and took a look at a few of these videos...I thought I've seen some messed up stuff in hell, but you humans really take the cake."
"How the hell do you even know what masturbation is?"
I could hear Ollie laughing in the livingroom behind me.
I sent Ex to the couch and stripped all of the sheets off of my bed. Though he claimed he hadn't done anything, demon semen is probably acidic; I didn't want to take any chances. I laid down and finally got to sleep. I slept for hours and hours, but when I woke, it was to the sound of Ex's deep ass demon voice.
"...good idea, man. I mean...what would DeAngelo think?"
"Fuck DeAngelo...I'm the only one with a job here right now, so I don't want to hear any bitching from either of you."
Oh boy. This couldn't have been good.
I kicked open my bedroom door like SWAT and stormed into the livingroom. I really wish that I would have just stayed in bed.
Another pentagram was drawn on the floor, though this was one was a lot less shitty than the one I had drawn. Candles were lit in a semi-circle around in, and, wearing a black cloak, bull mask, and holding a book in his hands, was my favorite person in the world. Ollie.
"Ollie what the fuck are you doing?"
"Summoning my own demon. I asked Ex to help do my laundry and he said he is bound to only you. So I'm gonna get my own demon to do my bidding."
"Ollie...not all demons are gonna be as chill as Ex."
"I told him that," said Ex with a shrug, continuing to eat ice cream straight from the carton.
"Well I'm gonna find that out myself. Nekkatontu, I hereby summon you!"
There was a burst of blue flame in the center of the pentagram, followed by plumes of blue smoke. Ex looked mortified as he dropped the ice cream to the floor.
"Nekkatontu? Oh no...why'd it have to be her?"
submitted by AsDeathBeckons to asdeathbeckons [link] [comments]

2019.07.30 16:58 DeludedYinzer Offseason Review Series: Day 21: The Pittsburgh Steelers

Something I wanted to point out quickly. I wrote most of this stuff before the Steelers training camp actually started on Friday. So if something I say is opposite of what has been happening at camp the past 4 days, that's why. I did change some things, but I didn't want to change all of it for the sake of honesty. Thanks

Pittsburgh Steelers

Division: AFC North
1. Baltimore Ravens (10-6)
2. Pittsburgh Steelers (9-6-1)
3. Cleveland Browns (7-8-1)
4. Cincinnati Bengals (6-10)

Coaching Changes

Mike Munchak Moves On, Shaun Sarrett Named OL Coach - Most Steelers fans expected Munchak to leave at some point soon. I don't think anyone expected him to leave for another offensive line job. Munchak was reported to be one of the finalists for the Broncos head coaching job. Once it was announced Vic Fangio had gotten the Broncos head coaching job, I thought that we were in the clear. It was then reported that Munchak was being hired as the Broncos offensive line coach. I was pretty shocked at first. Things were going great for him here and I didn't think he was getting caught up in all of the other drama(more on that later). But it turns out he wanted to be closer to his family(which is why he interviewed for the HC position in the first place). Shaun Sarrett has been with the Steelers for 8 years now but last year was his first as an OL assistant specifically. This seemed like a no brainer move and many speak highly of Sarrett. Losing Munchak is obviously big but hopefully, Sarrett can pick up where Mike left off.
Joey Porter Not Retained, Keith Butler Takes Back OLB Coach Role - This has been something many fans(including myself) have been hoping for. Although TJ Watt has looked great in his first two seasons, the same development hasn't been felt through Bud Dupree and Jarvis Jones did not improve in his final two seasons with the Steelers. Yes, the Steelers did finish 1st in sacks the last two years, but that is a little deceitful. A good amount of those sacks came from the defensive line and blitzing ILBs. In 2017, Cam Heyward and Vince Williams(the two leading Steelers sackers) accounted for 35.7% of the sacks. 2018 was better because of Watt's 13 sacks, but there wasn't much behind him. Which is another issue; the Steelers have gotten almost nothing from backup EDGE rushers. Anthony Chickillo is not awful, but not someone you'd want to be your #3 EDGE, which is what he has been the past 2 years. So Porter didn't develop any depth either. There all also some off the field questions with Porter, including possibly trying to pit the defense against the offense, though this has been denied by some players. He is being replaced by.......Keith Butler.
Butler was the Steelers OLB coach for 12 years before being promoted to DC after Dick LeBeau's departure. The results so far have been a mixed bag at best. The defensive line and the run defense has been pretty consistent, but the secondary has been a mess and the overall scheme has question marks attached. Maybe going back to his roots will help that group and in turn, help the defense. Or maybe this is a purely cosmetic decision and nothing will change. We will see. But this might be the last year for Butler to prove he can be the DC.
James Saxon Not Retained, Eddie Faulkner Named New RB Coach - This move is baffling. I assumed that Porter would be the last coaching change made. Saxon was the RB coach since 2014. Most notably the year Le'Veon Bell broke out. You have to party contribute that and the rest of Bell's career to this point to Saxon. Deangelo Williams also had a successful 2015 season under Saxon. James Conner is also hopefully on his way to a promising NFL Career after a good 2018 season. So why was Saxon not retained? No clue.
No one has any idea why this move was made. No one. Steelers players and other NFL coaches are apparently dumbfounded and mad by this decision. Some point to the fact that the Steelers ranked 31st in total rushing last year. While true, the Steelers also ranked 31st in rushing attempts. Hard to rush well as a team if you aren't committed to the run in every scenario. So I just doubt that reasoning. Your guess is as good as any as to why Saxon was let go. Maybe something will come out later, but for now, we are all in the dark. He is now the Cardinals RB Coach.
Steelers decided to hire Eddie Faulkner to replace Saxon. Faulkner had been NC State's TE/FB/ST coach for 6 years. Current Steeler Jaylen Samuel played under Faulkner, so maybe the Steelers liked him while they were scouting Samuels. It'll be interesting to see what he can bring to this young RB group.
Teryl Austin Hired As Senior Defensive Assistant/Secondary - Tomlin (correctly) felt that the defense needed a little extra support in terms of coaching. Austin was most recently fired by the Bengals last year as there defensive coordinator. The Bengals defense was very bad last year, but Austin has a decorated NFL career and coaching a smaller group of defensive backs will hopefully be a better scenario for him. Apparently, Austin will also have some sort of role concerning challenges and maybe even time management. Tomlin has not won a challenge since the WC game against the Miami Dolphins in the 2016-2017 postseason and he has been criticized by some for his clock management.
There has been some debate whether or not these changes are just Tomlin saving face/trying to shift the blame. I personally don't. Tomlin is never one to deflect blame away from himself. While the Saxon decision is certainly questionable, the Porter decision was a long time coming and having Butler back with the OLB is at the very least an interesting move(if not a last-ditch effort). Some wonder whether another down year would mean the end of Tomlin in Pittsburgh. Its definitely an interesting conversation, but I ultimately think Tomlin will be safe unless things completely fall off the rails.

Free Agency

Players Lost/Cut

BOLD = Starters
Player Position New Team
Antonio Brown WR Raiders
Le'Veon Bell RB Jets
Marcus Gilbert RT Cardinals
Coty Sensabaugh CB Unsigned
Jon Bostic LB Redskins
Jesse James TE Lions
Morgan Burnett S Browns
LJ Fort LB Eagles
LT Walton DE/DT Bills
Justin Hunter WR Unsigned
Darrius Heyward-Bey WR Unsigned
Matt McCrane K Unsigned
Stevan Ridley RB Unsigned
Nat Berhe S Unsigned
Antonio Brown (Traded for Raiders 2019 3rd and 5th round picks) - Whew boy. I'm gonna try my best to keep most of this section focused on the field, though some off the field stuff is relevant(more about the off the field aspect will be in the Other Offseason news section). Brown basically forced himself into being traded this offseason(besides asking for a trade obviously). Things were getting very toxic, very quickly and it was making everybody look very bad. I think the Steelers made some mistakes along the way and ultimately hurt the trade value. The biggest example was when Art Rooney II said in an interview that they weren't going to cut him and that it was "hard to envision" Brown with the team in training camp. So if you aren't going to release him but you don't see him on the team in July, then that is very obviously telling that you are going to trade him. Which hurts the trade value immensely. Now teams know that you are almost desperate to trade him. That was a damaging interview. Brown was briefly a Bill until that trade fell threw because of Brown wanting a new contract and the Bills not willing to give him one. The Raiders then swooped in and got the deal done(much more to the story, but again, trying to stay on topic). In my opinion, this was not a great trade for us. A 3rd and a 5th for arguably the best receiver in the NFL is just not enough. I get they were between a rock and a hard place, but I thought it would be an early 2nd. Plus you have to factor in the cap hit it took. Replacing Brown will be difficult and will take more than one person. Hopefully, they can figure it out in time before a playoff run.
Le'Veon Bell - This will be short. Bell sat out the entire 2019 season due to a contract dispute. Bell didn't like the contract being offered by the Steelers(specifically the guaranteed money). The Steelers aren't willing to give a ton of guaranteed money to any of their free agents. Bell signed with the Jets. The contract really isn't very favorable to him compared to the final contract offer the Steelers gave. But he wanted to bet on himself, so good on him.
Marcus Gilbert (Traded for Cardinals 2019 6th Round pick) - Gilbert's career started pretty great. He became a regular starter in 2013 and got better and better as time went on. At one point, I would say he was a Top 5 RT in this league. 2017 was the year things took a turn. Gilbert injured his hamstring in a Week 2 win against the Vikings. He didn't return until Week 6, where he aggravated the injury early in the game. After returning for 2 games, he was suspended for PEDs(assumingly to rehab the injury). Sustained a concussion in the playoff loss against the Jags. In 2018 he dealt with a hamstring and knee injury and was ultimately placed on IR after only playing in 5 games. All the while, Chris Hubbard and Matt Feiler filled in pretty well for him (especially Hubbard, who signed a big deal with the Browns after 2017). This made Gilbert expendable, thus leading to the trade. This is a great trade for the Cardinals. Giving up a day 3 pick for a chance to get a Top 5 RT is something any team should do. The Steelers are in good hands though.
Coty Sensabaugh - Coty Sensabaugh wasn't supposed to be starting in 2018. I didn't even think he was gonna make the roster, considering the fact that he was benched in 2017. He ended up making the team. He didn't start immediately but after Artie Burns disastrous performance in Cincinnati, he made his way back to the lineup. And admittedly, he wasn't awful. Much better than in 2017. PFF gave some praise. That stat is a little misleading but that's beside the point. The biggest issue is that he would make NO effort on the ball at times. It was almost like he would see the ball coming and just stop covering his man. Bizarre. When the biggest issue with your defense is you don't make big plays, someone like Sensabaugh doesn't help the cause. He somehow ended up with 6 PDs, but 3 of them came against Jeff Driskel and Joe Flacco. Again, not awful, but not what this team needs to make the leap.
Jon Bostic - I don't like to say I told you so, but I knew that the Bostic signing would not work out after the Steelers did not draft a single linebacker in the following draft. Bostic was not this highly-coveted free agent that prohibited the Steelers from bringing in competition. I still thought linebacker was one of the Steeler's biggest needs going into the draft. The Steelers only have themselves to blame for what happened during the season.
Bostic was not an awful run defender, but he wasn't that great. Not as good as Vince Williams. The issue came in pass defense. He was GOD AWFUL. Constant blown coverages. Not really playing the ball(partly because he was never close enough). Part of that is due to the scheme. The Steelers put themselves in a bad situation that they had to try and remedy. But he still was rough. I try to go back and watch all of the games from last season. He struggled mightily against Jared Cook. Not that Cook is bad, but it almost seemed like they were in two different leagues. After the Denver game, Bostic was essentially benched and didn't see more than 18 snaps in a single game. Bostic is currently unsigned after being cut.
Jesse James - Jesse James had some pretty successful seasons in Pittsburgh. Even with the emergence of Vance McDonald, James arguably had his best season yet. I was not shocked when he decided to leave. We weren't gonna pay him a ton if he wanted to stay and he probably would have been behind McDonald. Funny enough, Lions drafted TJ Hockenson in the first round and I would guess he would become the #1 tight end sooner rather than later. I think the contract was a little rich for my taste. James was just a very average tight end that isn't that athletic.
Morgan Burnett - This was another signing that I liked when it happened and then my feelings changed after the draft. This time, I was wrong about what I thought would happen. Unfortunately, the results were not any better. Burnett got through the first 2 games of the season before getting injured. He came back for the 2nd Cleveland game but never played at a consistent level. He did have some good moments but Burnett's Steeler career will most likely be remembered by blown coverages. Same issue as Bostic. Playing as the third safety most of the time, Burnett was given a lot of responsibilities that he just couldn't handle. Fans thought the Steelers might cut Burnett before he requested to be released due to the way he was used(not completely in the wrong). Steelers tried to find a trade partner but couldn't. Burnett is currently on the Browns. All of the major outside UDFAs signed last year are now off of the team one year later.
LJ Fort - Fort was one of the linebackers that tried to fix the mess the Steelers left in that group. He had been with the team for a bit, but he started playing regularly in week 12 against the Chargers. Some fans and analysts seemed to like the way he played and were sad to see him go to the Eagles. I don't think he was that great. One thing I will say, he made more splash plays than most of the defense. He would jump off the screen at times, but I think he struggled in run and pass defense. Not that he was a bad player, but not someone who should have been starting. He was a great special teamer and that will be something the Steelers will have to replace.
LT Walton - Walton was a nice surprise as a 6th round pick. Never gave a ton in pass rush, but was a pretty alright run defender. Which isn't bad for a backup.
Darrius Heyward-Bey - This is the biggest hit to the special teams unit. HeyBey was one of our best special teamers. He also was a great role model and overall a great guy. Gonna miss him.
Player Position Old Team Length(Years) Average Cap Hit
Steven Nelson CB Chiefs 3 $8,500,000
Mark Barron LB Rams 2 $6,000,000
Donte Moncrief WR Jaguars 2 $4,500,000
Ben Roethlisberger QB Steelers +2 $34,000,000
Maurkice Pouncey C Steelers +2 $11,000,000
Eli Rogers WR Steelers +1 $3,030,000
Tyson Alualu DE Steelers +2 $2,875,000
Ramon Foster LG Steelers 2 $4,125,000
Anthony Chickillo EDGE Steelers 2 $4,000,000
BJ Finney IOL Steelers 1 $3,095,000
Xavier Grimble TE Steelers 1 $2,025,000
Jordan Berry P Steelers 2 $1,850,000
Daniel McCullers NT Steelers 2 $1,375,000
Kameron Canaday LS Steelers 1 $720,000
Matt Feiler OT Steelers 1 $645,000
Mike Hilton CB Steelers 1 $645,000
Jordan Dangerfield S Steelers 1 $645,000
Zach Banner OT Steelers 1 $645,000
Steven Nelson - As many of you may know, the Steelers are not big spenders in free agency. They would rather develop their own and then refill through the draft. In the past three years, I would say the Steelers have signed 3 "significant" outside free agents each year. Nelson is the first and highest-paid one this year. In fact, Nelson is the highest-paid outside free agent in Steelers history. That says a lot about how the Steelers approach free agency. Nelson spent last year on the Chiefs, playing almost every snap on the outside. PFF had some alright things to say. I've watched him in a couple of Chief games and I did like what I saw. The consensus among Chief fans seems to be that Nelson is alright, not a #1 caliber corner, but will work as a number 2. Also say he can get a bit handsy. Nelson has played on the inside and the outside in his career. He primarily played outside last year and he has said that's where he would like to play this year. I think that is where the Steelers are going to play him, seeing as the team is severely lacking a #2 OCB. However, Nelson's flexibility was talked about early in the offseason by Mike Tomlin. I could see scenarios that move Nelson in the slot limitedly to give playing time for a certain 3rd round rookie. I only see that happening if said rookie shows a ton early. Either way, this signing is great and was desperately needed.
Mark Barron - Barron started his career in Tampa as a safety. He was traded midway through his rookie contract to the then St. Louis Rams. That is when he started to play the linebacker position. Barron signed a 5-year contract with the Rams after his rookie contract. Barron played a significant amount in the next 3 years before being cut after the 2018-2019 season. Before anyone speculates where he will play, Barron said he is playing linebacker with the Steelers. This is interesting because saying he's only playing linebacker brings up questions in regards to how he will be used in sub-packages and things of that sort. Being a former safety, you would think Barron would be pretty good in coverage. But after watching him in a few Rams games last year, that is not necessarily the case. Zone coverage was alright, but he got beat a few times in the 3-4 games that I watched. Run defense was alright. The consensus from Rams fans were a little all over the place. We'll talk about this more when we get to the starting lineups, but it will be very interesting to see what Tomlin decides to do to start the season. The signing was definitely needed, but how Barron is going to be used is still very much up in the air.
Donte Moncrief - After his rookie contract in Indianapolis was up, Moncrief signed a 1 year prove-it deal with the surging Jacksonville Jaguars. Though if I remember correctly, Moncrief was talking about getting paid way before his rookie contract was up(correct me if I'm wrong). The Jaguars fell back to the pack in 2018, largely due to the offense. They ranked bottom 10 in many offensive statistics. Bortles was not good, Fournette missed time and wasn't that effective when he did play, receiving options were not good enough, and the offensive line gave up the 3rd most sacks in the league. The offense was anemic. Moncrief is inarguably coming into a better situation than he was in Jacksonville. Many of his 89 targets last year were ruled "uncatchable". However, it's not fair to say that his inadequacies last year were all due to his supporting cast. Moncrief has never been an amazing receiver. His best year came in 2015, totaling 64 catches, 733 yards, and 6 touchdowns playing second fiddle to T.Y. Hilton. I'll talk about this more when we get to the starting lineup/training camp battles, but Moncrief absolutely has a chance to be the #2 this year.
Ben Roethlisberger and Maurkice Pouncey - I'm putting these extensions together because they are in pretty similar situations. Both are getting older and have been the face for the Steelers offense for years. Maurkice Pouncey has even said that the year Ben retires, he will retire as well. And I believe him. Both of them are important cogs in the machine known as the Steelers offense.
Eli Rogers - After tearing his ACL in the 2017 playoffs, Rogers re-signed with the Steelers after a couple of free-agent visits. He didn't end up playing until Week 15 but he looked alright in those last three games. He's back. Wide receiver is really up for grabs this year and it's important to see how Rogers will look after his limited time.
Tyson Alualu - One of the only recent free-agent signings that has worked out, Alualu worked out a 2-year extension to his contract. He has been a super solid backup and absolutely deserved this extension. He was better in 2017 than in 2018, but I think he has a chance to get back to that level. If someone were to get hurt, it wouldn't be the end of the world is Alualu had to start. Far from ideal, but he gives you enough to survive on defense.
Ramon Foster - Foster has been with the team for 10 years, but it seemed like 2018 could have been his last season. I can't seem to find the article now, but I swear I saw a quote that said that he was going to be asking for a lot of money, or something of that sort. That made it seem like he might be on a different team in 2019. But thankfully, the Steelers and Foster agreed to a contract (that really isn't that much money so IDK if I was imagining things). I don't think it would have been the end of the world if Foster went elsewhere. BJ Finney has looked good in his starts and Foster is getting older. The Steelers don't usually extend a good amount of money to older free agents. However, Foster has been a rock in the middle of the line and you can't let someone like him go.
BJ Finney - Finney, a former UDFA, had a 2nd round tender placed on him this offseason. He has started at least one game every year since 2016 and has performed well. Many thought this would be the year the Steelers would let go of Ramon Foster and have Finney be the starter. With the Steelers re-signing Foster, things are looking like he is gonna have to wait at least one more year for a chance to be a starter. Finney will be a UFA after the 2019-2020 season. He might look to greener pastures after this year if he can't crack the starting lineup. There is not much the Steelers can do about that unless they want to give him a starter contract but have him be a backup for one more year, but that does not seem like a smart idea. Until then, Finney will be an excellent backup and will be ready to start if/whenever the time comes.
Matt Feiler - When Marcus Gilbert went down in Week 2, Feiler was the guy that stepped in. Feiler had only started one game before this season(a meaningless Week 17 game against the 0-16 Browns), so we really didn't know what to expect when he played. He held his own. Feiler was an ERFA after the season and he signed his tender at the end of March. Feiler is going to have some competition this season for the starting right tackle spot, but at the very least, Feiler will be a pretty good backup.
Anthony Chickillo - Chickillo has been a backup EDGE and special teamer for all of his career. I personally don't think he is that great as an EDGE and him being the third rusher has been a detriment to the defense. He always performs in the preseason but he doesn't do much when he does get a chance to play. He is a good special teamer but he can't be relied on to give you production off the EDGE.
Mike Hilton - As with Matt Feiler, Hilton was also an ERFA after the season. Hilton had a good start to the year, but then suffered an elbow injury that took him out for one game but hobbled him for some of the season. 2017 was a great year for him. 2018 was good, but you definitely could tell that either the injury or something else was keeping him from being his best. He wasn't as successful blitzing and he gave up the game-deciding touchdown against the Raiders. Hilton absolutely is still a good player but he has something to prove after last year. One thing to keep an eye on; Hilton has not signed his tender yet. He wants a new contract. Hilton signed his tender on the reporting day of training camp. Though he wanted a new contract, Steelers just don't have the funds to do that at this time and I bet they like having control of him for at least one more year.
Seems like I've written a lot more than last year. The draft section usually goes next, but it just missed fitting in here. So I know it isn't the most convenient, but I have the rest of the sections linked down below.


Other Offseason News

Projected Starting Lineup

53 Man Roster and Position Group Strengths and Weaknesses

Schedule Predictions

Training Camp Battles

Offensive and Defensive Schemes

Shout Outs
Once again, Thank y'all for reading(some of it lol) every year. I appreciate it.
To skepticismissurvival and PlatypusOfDeath - For allowing me to write this.
To /steelers
To Astro63 and Dminnick for offering to help
To /NFL_Draft: For the continued support. Along the same lines, thanks to anyone who had kind words towards any of my videos last year. Greatly appreciated!!!
Link to hub
submitted by DeludedYinzer to nfl [link] [comments]

2019.07.28 19:37 The_DMcI123 I made a list of every crime committed in The Office and it only took seven months

Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.)
S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans
S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine
S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery)
S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI
S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen)
S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though)
S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office
S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office
S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases)
S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street
S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office
S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it)
S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway
S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground
S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme
S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test
S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past
S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome)
S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving
S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood)
S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building
S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal)
S3E7: Creed sells office equipment
S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it
S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well
S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent)
S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall
S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head
S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them)
S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser
S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide
S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends
S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street)
S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit)
S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic)
S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer
S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress)
S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant
S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train
S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is)
S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition
S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it
S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger)
S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine
S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property)
S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well)
S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car)
S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee
S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room
S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller
S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them
S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight
S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer
S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage)
S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping)
S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car
S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics)
S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film
S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering)
S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal)
S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access)
S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive
S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight
S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son
S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building)
S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park
S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up)
S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office
S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency)
S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car)
S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime
S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron
S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment
S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty)
S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing
S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards
S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill)
S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish
S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment
S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder
S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David
S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone
S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim
S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot
S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield
S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump
S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally
S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump
S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back)
S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal
S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew
S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork
S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on
S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage)
S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft)
S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment
S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws
S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it
S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them
S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness
S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal
S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct)
S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house
S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly
S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past
S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs
S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office
S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot
S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager
S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office
S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points
S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper
S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan)
S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office
S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission)
S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch
S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL
S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot
S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on
S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy
S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox
S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving
S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard
S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face
S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith
S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection
S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car
S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall
S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot
S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail)
S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant)
S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her
S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it)
S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving
S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly
S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor
S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar
S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution)
S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin
S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half
S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects)
S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring
S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight
S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke
S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic
S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine
S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him;
S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes
S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar
S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs
S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office
S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency);
S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly
S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses
submitted by The_DMcI123 to DunderMifflin [link] [comments]

2019.06.27 19:54 StroszekAndTheIdiot Do you think he stopped or continued his relationship misbehavior after it created a negative outcome in his first engagement?

We know now from the LA Times that DeAngelo openly engaged in criminal activities around his first fiancée: trespassing, killing animals/dogs, the final nighttime confrontation with the gun. His ex and her family never reported any misbehaviors to an authority though, and it’s also true that his subsequent partner and her family never reported any misbehaviors to an authority as far as we are aware.
Do you think he strategically refrained from extreme misbehavior around his new partnefamily? Were his first fiancée and her family the last ones he mistreated in that way? Think he was capable of enough self-control in ‘73 to not engage in any of the prior partnefamily threats and misbehaviors he engaged in previously? Was that restraint part of his evil evolution?
Or do you think he found someone who not only wouldn’t report his lawlessness but also wouldn’t leave him over it? As in, a leopard doesn’t change his spots, the “mistake” wasn’t the behavior: it was the partner, so he “fixed” the partner and kept the same behavior.
Is there a third possibility I’m missing? More?
My lady has some knowledge of the case, I asked for her opinion, she suggested that in this context the separation without divorce sounds like fear, implying he misbehaved toward/around partner 2 in some way similar to how he misbehaved toward/around partner 1.
submitted by StroszekAndTheIdiot to EARONS [link] [comments]

2019.06.24 04:20 habzsauce Mitch Marner vs Four First Round Draft Picks

With all the Marner talk going on and wether or not an offer sheet is coming, I was curious to see if receiving four 1st round picks would actually be worth it in the long run. I know in theory it sounds like a haul, but I wanted to see just how valuable they can be.
I decided to look at four drafts from 2014-2017. I left out 2018 and 2019 since they were way too fresh and not a lot of guys have cracked the NHL just yet. I also did not include Vegas from the 2017 draft due to not having any drafts prior to.
The list below shows all players for each team that have played at least 25% of games over the course of the last five seasons starting from their draft year (410 games total). So if a player was drafted in 2014, to make the list below he would have to had played 102 games to qualify whereas a guy drafted in 2017 only needed 41 games. I didn’t factor in players that missed time to injury nor did I account for guys that ended up starting their pro careers in Russia/NCAA/etc.
So if a player made the list below, I labeled that as a “successful pick”. The guys that have asterisks are players that did not meet minimum games criteria, however are clearly on the path to becoming full time NHLers (Makar, Juulsen, Fabbro, etc). This part is subjective on my own end, and I probably missed some guys too. Anyways here’s the list below:
2014 Draft : 102 Games Required.
Number of Pick Player (team)
1st Ekblad (FLA)
2nd Reinhart (BUF
3rd Drai (EDM)
4th Bennett (CGY)
6th Virtanen (VAN)
8th Nylander (TOR)
9th Ehlers (WPG)
10th Ritchie (ANA)
11th Fiala (NSH)
12th Perlini (ARI)
13th Vrana (WSH)
15th Larkin (DET)
17th Sanheim (PHI)
18th Tuch (MIN)
19th DeAngelo (TBL)
20th Schmatlz (CHI)
21st Fabbri (STL)
22nd Kappanen (PIT)
24th McCann (VAN)
25th Pasta (BOS)
27th Goldobin (SJS)
29th Kempe (LAK)
2015: 82 Games Required.
Number of Pick Player (team)
1st McJesus (EDM)
2nd Eichel (BUF)
3rd Strome (ARI)
4th Marner (TOR)
5th Hanafin (CAR)
6th Zacha (NJD)
7th Provorov (PHI)
8th Werenski (CBJ)
9th Meier (SJS)
10th Rantanen (COL)
11th Crowse (FLA)
14th DeBrusk (BOS)
16th Barzal (NYI)
17th Connor (WPG)
18th Chabot (OTT)
20th Joel Erikkson EK (MIN)
21st White (OTT)
22nd **Samsanov (WSH)
23rd Boeser (VAN)
24th Konecny (PHI)
25th Roslovic (WPG)
26th **Juulsen (MTL)
28th Beauvillier (NYI)
2016 Draft: 62 Games Required
Number of Pick Player (team)
1st Matthews (TOR)
2nd Laine (WPG)
3rd Dubois (CBJ)
4th Pool Party (EDM)
6th M. Tkachuk (CGY)
7th Keller (ARI)
9th Sergachev (MTL)
10th Jost (COL)
14th Mcavoy (BOS)
15th Kunin (MIN)
16th Chychrun (ARI)
17th **Fabbro (NSH)
20th **Cholowski (DET)
23rd Borgstrom (FLA)
26th Thompson (STL)
27th Howden (TBL)
30th **Steel (ANA)
2017 Draft: 41 Games Required
Number of Pick Player (team)
1st Nico (NJD)
2nd Patrick (PHI)
3rd Heiskanen (DAL)
4th **Makar (COL)
5th Petterson (VAN)
7th Andersson (NYR)
8th Mittelstadt (BUF)
9th Rasmusson (DET)
10th **Tippett (FLA)
11th **Vilardi (LAK)
12th **Necas (CAR)
14th **Foote (TBL)
16th **Valimaki (CGY)
17th **Liligren (TOR)
20th Thomas (STL)
21st Chytill (NYR)
22nd **Yamamoto (EDM)
24th **Vesalainen (WPG)
25th **Poehling (MTL)
26th **Oettinger (DAL)
29th **Jokiharju (CHI)
30th **Tolvanen (NSH)
Here’s a summary of how all the best teams did. I counted how many first round picks each team had, and sorted them by how many they got right. Some interesting outliers show Boston having the most picks over that time period, with seven, and managing to nail three of them. The team with the least amount of picks was Pittsburgh, and was successful (Kappanen). Winnipeg got the most players with five, and Pittsburgh had the least with one.
I only did a player summary for the teams with three or more successful picks. The rest of the teams that finished with two or less I did not go into detail with. Here's the table below:
Team Picks
Winnipeg Jets Five Picks (5/5)
Laine (2nd), Ehlers (9th), Connor (17th), Roslavic (24th), Vesalainen (25th)
Arizona Coyotes Six Picks (4/6)
Strome (3rd), Keller (12th), Chychryn (16th), Perlini (17th)
Philadelphia Fylers Six Picks (4/6)
Patrick (2nd), Provorov (7th), Samheim (17th), Konecny (24th)
Vancouver Canucks Five Picks (4/6)
Petterson (5th), Virtanen (6th), Boeser (23rd), Mccann (24th)
Florida Panthers Four Picks (4/4)
Ekblad (1st), Tippett (10th), Crowse (11th), Borgstrom (23rd)
Edmonton Oilers Four Picks (4/4)
McDavid (1st), Drai (3rd), PoolParty (4th), Yamamoto (22nd)
Toronto Maple Leafs Four Picks (4/4)
Matthews (1st), Marner (4th), Nylander (8th), Liligren (17th)
Boston Bruins Seven Picks (3/7)
DeBrusk (14th), McAvoy (14th), Pasta (25th)
St.Louis Blues Four Picks (3/4)
Thomas (20th), Fabbri (21st), Thompson (26th)
Colorado Avalanche Four Picks (3/4)
Makar (4th), Jost (10th), Rantanen (10th)
Montreal Canadiens Four Picks (3/4)
Sergachev (9th), Poehling (25th), Juulsen (26th)
Calgary Flames Four Picks (3/4)
Bennett (4th), Tkachuk (6th), Valimaki (16th)
Buffalo Sabers Four Picks (3/4)
Eichel (2nd), Reinhart (2nd), Mittelstadt (8th)
Detroit Redwings Four Picks (3/4)
Rasmusson (9th), Larkin (15th), Cholowowski (20th)
Tampa Bay Lightning Three Picks (3/3)
Foote (14th), DeAngelo (19th), Howden (27th)
Nashville Predators Three Picks (3/3)
Fiala (11th), Fabbro (17th), Tolvanen (30th)
Minnesota Wild Three Picks (3/3)
Kunin (15th), Tuch (18th), EK (20th)
Carolina: 2/5
NYI: 2/5
Columbus: 2/4
New Jersey: 2/4
Anaheim: 2/4
Dallas: 2/4
Washington: 2/3
San Jose: 2/3
Chicago: 2/2
Los Angelos: 2/2
Pittsburgh: 1/1
20/30 teams had four or more picks from 2014-2017. Of those 20 teams, 7/20 had four or more successful picks, 7/20 had three successful picks, and 6/20 had two or less.
So, if a team had four or more picks, there was about a 35% chance they would make at least four successful picks, 70% chance they would make three successful picks, and 30% chance they would make two or less.
Based off these odds, if Marner gets an offer sheet which would send Toronto four 1st round picks (giving them eight overall including their own), Toronto could very well inherit 5-7 roster players based solely on these odds.
I haven’t factored in things like cap hit, or range of picks, but I thought this was interesting nonetheless. Most of the top heavy teams draft wise included a combination of lottery picks and top 10 picks like Winnipeg, Edmonton, Buffalo, Vancouver, Philly, Calgary, Toronto and Colorado. Some of the other teams like Minnesota, Detroit, Nashville and Tampa Bay, still did fairly well considering they didn’t have any top 10 or lottery picks, but nobody really stood out in that group besides Boston for acquiring star talent.
What Toronto gets back quality wise from their picks is really going to depend on which team decides to offer sheet Marner, and how high/low in the standings that team is projected to finish over the course of the next four years. By the looks of it though, I’d bet that Toronto comes out on top by a mile, especially if they can net a few top 10 picks. Only way this turns out a loss for the Leafs is if their trading partner ends up being atop the standings from 2019-2023, or if their scouting department completely fucks up their selections.
Leafs can also decide to use their own first round picks to either draft more players and thus increasing their odds all together, OR use them for trades. Not a bad spot to be in.
It’s also cool to see how Marner compares to any of those four or more pick teams, had this situation occurred in 2014 in some alternate reality. For example:
PHI: Patrick, Sanheim, Provorov, Konecny — Marner
COL: Makar, Jost, Rantannen, Bleakley — Marner
MTL: Sergachev, Poehling, Juulsen, Sherbak —— Marner
NJD: Quennville, Zacha, McLeod, Hischier —— Marner
Anyways, apologies if this was confusing. I’m not the best at explaining things, but I was really curious to see how valuable those four 1st rounders actually are. It might suck to lose Marner, but judging how the draft has gone for teams with four or more picks from 2014-2017, Leafs are likely far better in the long run with the 1st rounders.
submitted by habzsauce to hockey [link] [comments]

2019.03.14 21:22 Cosmokramer111 10 Of The Richest Cannabis Millionaires -

I was digging through some info on Arcview and came across this interesting post on Cannabis millionaires. The list surprised me a bit.


John Cervini John Cervini is the other co-founder of Aphria. Cervini has roughly 9 million shares of the company, most of which are held via Fulfill Holdings Inc. This gives Cervini a stake valued at almost $145 million.


Cole Cacciavillani Cole Cacciavillani is the co-founder of Aphria Inc OTCAPHQF, one of the first publicly listed cannabis growers. He serves as the company’s vice president of growing operations. Cacciavillani has roughly 7.1 million shares of Apria worth $113 million.
Canada-based Aphria generated revenue of more than $15 million last year and had a net income of more than $3 million. Earlier this year, Aphria announced acquisitions worth $200 million in South America. The acquisitions include two companies and a large stake in a marijuana producer.


Bruce Linton Canopy Growth Corp CGC 1.24% is the largest marijuana grower in the world, and Bruce Linton is its co-founder and CEO. He founded the company in 2014 with Chuck Rifici, who left the company a year later. Considering that Linton holds around 2.5 million Canopy shares, his net worth is at least $127.6 million.


Snoop Dogg With a net worth of over $120 million, Snoop Dogg also earns a spot on our list of cannabis millionaires.
Nevertheless, Snoop Dogg has been a longtime marijuana advocate. In 2015, Snoop Dogg founded Casa Verde Capital, a cannabis-focused venture capital firm. Casa Verde Capital is invested in a number of companies, including the Merry Jane media platform, the Cannalysis testing laborator and point-of-sale solution provider Green Bits.


Steve Dobler Aurora co-founder Dobler holds over 16.5 million shares of the company valued at $115.58 million. Dobler serves as the company's president.


Terry Booth In 2013, Terry Booth co-founded Aurora Cannabis Inc OTCACBFF with Steve Dobler, Dale Lesak and Chris Mayerson. Booth and Dobler both invested around $5 million of their own capital. The investment paid off, since Booth currently holds around 11.1 million shares of Aurora that are valued at $77.7 million. Booth is the company's CEO.


Andrew Modlin Andrew Modlin is Bierman's co-founder colleague at MedMen and serves as the company's chief operating officer. Modlin holds around 3.96 million Class B shares of the company and 9.66 million LTIP units, according to SEDI.He recently spent almost $4 million on a home in West Hollywood.


Adam Bierman Adam Bierman is the co-founder and CEO of Medmen Enterprises Inc, which specializes in cannabis cultivation and operates dispensaries around the U.S.
According to filings with the Canadian System for Electronic Disclosure by Insiders, Bierman holds 3.96 million MedMen Class B shares, which are valued at roughly $23.6 million based on the stock’s listed price. In addition, Bierman has 9.66 million long-term incentive plan units.


Troy Dayton Troy Dayton is the CEO of ArcView Group and DeAngelo’s fellow co-founder In addition, Dayton is the co-founder of WECANNA, a crowdfunding platform for hemp and cannabis businesses. He is also a partner at Canopy Boulder, a seed-stage business accelerator program and venture fund focused on the cannabis industry.


Steve DeAngelo Steve DeAngelo is the co-founder and President of ArcView Group, one of the largest players in the cannabis investment space. ArcView represents a network of over 600 accredited investors who collectively have invested around $200 million in 175 startups.
Prior to founding ArcView, Steve DeAngelo launched Harborside Health Center, one of the largest medical marijuana dispensaries in the U.S.
Source - link
submitted by Cosmokramer111 to weedstocks [link] [comments]

2019.02.03 01:34 true2phoenix [FR] From Third Date, how can I escalate it to a relationship / physical / sexual ?

I'm 24 and met a nice girl on Bumble a few weeks back (That was very much my type), however only got to meet in person about 2 weeks ago.
(2 Weeks ago): First date was meeting in the local bar in town, we just both had one drink then she drank soft drinks and so did I, we chatted in detail getting to know each other, sitting opposite each other. We stayed until the bar shut, then I walked her back to the train station, I went in for a kiss on the lips goodbye however got rejected and she turned her cheek. Whilst with her I scheduled the next date, that was dinner through the week and hopefully some mini-golf after.
(1.5 Weeks ago, 3 days later from 1st date): 2nd Date, met for dinner at a local Italian restaurant (Which was our favourite cuisine together), again sat opposite each other, and enjoyed the conversation over dinner. Then asked her about Minigolf after dinner, however she said it was a little late and was quite tired, so we just stayed talking the rest of the evening at the restaurant, until it shut. Then walked her to her car, and got her to kiss me on the cheek goodbye. It came up in conversation that she does a local park run every Saturday morning at 9am, with her gym crew friends. I somewhat self invited myself. However the day before I pulled out, as I felt it was a little stalkerish just showing up to her local run, with her friends, plus wouldn't be with her that long as she was going to the gym (Which I'm not a member of) after, and then had a jam packed weekend.
My largest observation from the first two dates, was that we could talk endlessly about ourselves, and find common topics of conversation, however I wasn't sure how to turn conversation into something more.
Currently I've been single for just over 2 years, since an Ex of 2 years in University and have only had two girl friends before, the other one being in the end of high school for just about 2 years. Previously the girlfriend in university happened in one day, where we were living in the same building and I met and then went to her dorm room with a bottle of wine and we watched a rom com, and then escalated it and started making out, which lead to sex on her bed ( I think the wine would have helped back then ;) ).
However now with this single spell of no sex or girls for 2 years, I find myself out of touch, especially on how to game without alcohol and game on multiple dates to lead up to sex.
So I read quite a few posts on /seduction and also read "Double your Dating" by David Deangelo. Previously I had listened to the audio book "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and read half of the "How to Lay Girls Guide" that Style talks about in the beginning of the Game. Also watched quite a few videos on youtube by Style (Neil Strauss).
Today: 3rd Date, Met for takeaway hot chocolates and went for a walk in the local park by the seafront to watch the sunset. Got some good conversation, holding her hand, and talked about the surroundings trying to make her more present in the moment. Asked her what she's fascinated about (, what came out was currently the gym (sporting exercises, i.e. running, gym, hand stands and calisthenics), and crime thriller TV shows. Played Style's 5 question game (, on her and that then lead to good Kino with hugging and laughing. [However I was unsure on how to escalate this into a kiss, or something more]. We did sit down and stare somewhat into each others eyes, however just talking still. Ended up continuing to walk in the park and ended up doing some handstands with her. Walked back to a local bistro-pub and got pint of cider, and played some table football for a couple of games then we both ordered burgers and chips. Whilst we were eating, she was telling me about a house party that happened the last weekend and how an old man tried to stroke her back and put his hand on her inner thigh. She did it to me, and I did the same back to her, I felt quite turned on that moment, and we did stare into each others eyes, then laughed it off. She was showing me some photos on her phone of the party, and then I decided to show her some of a fancy restaurant I went to in another city with a mate, however she saw a tinder message notification on my phone, and she seemed somewhat put off by this. (I'm not sure how to bring this up her, I'm hoping that it will be okay, she's by far the best match I've had and liked allot after meeting). She then ended up drinking soft drinks again, and I did the same. We played some more table football for quite a few games and then she said she was tired, so I walked her back to the train station. This time she went in for a kiss goodbye on the lips and then left.
We talked about I could join her for a run after her work through the week just me and her. We also talked about that she'd like to watch game of thrones some time, however she said she's put off by dates that have tried to get to "Chill" and watch game of thrones (As she's told me about a tinder that invited her to his house to make pizza's and then tried to have sex with her after some TV, however she said she ended up leaving and was put off by it). Talking with her, she's been out of the dating game for 3 years also, she talks quite quickly and can get flustered quite easily.
So reddit, any feedback, and on next steps whats the best way to escalate the relationship to something sexual ? As I've read I should not be a nice guy, as women want a sexual partner that then gets turned into a long term partner. Any particular date ideas, that we could do ? Also specifically is there any games I could do to get more sexual attraction ? And or get us passionately kissing each other ?p
submitted by true2phoenix to askseddit [link] [comments]

2019.02.03 01:22 true2phoenix [FR] From Third Date, how can I escalate it to a relationship / physical / sexual ?

I'm 24 and met a nice girl on Bumble a few weeks back (That was very much my type), however only got to meet in person about 2 weeks ago.
(2 Weeks ago): First date was meeting in the local bar in town, we just both had one drink then she drank soft drinks and so did I, we chatted in detail getting to know each other, sitting opposite each other. We stayed until the bar shut, then I walked her back to the train station, I went in for a kiss on the lips goodbye however got rejected and she turned her cheek. Whilst with her I scheduled the next date, that was dinner through the week and hopefully some mini-golf after.

(1.5 Weeks ago, 3 days later from 1st date): 2nd Date, met for dinner at a local Italian restaurant (Which was our favourite cuisine together), again sat opposite each other, and enjoyed the conversation over dinner. Then asked her about Minigolf after dinner, however she said it was a little late and was quite tired, so we just stayed talking the rest of the evening at the restaurant, until it shut. Then walked her to her car, and got her to kiss me on the cheek goodbye. It came up in conversation that she does a local park run every Saturday morning at 9am, with her gym crew friends. I somewhat self invited myself. However the day before I pulled out, as I felt it was a little stalkerish just showing up to her local run, with her friends, plus wouldn't be with her that long as she was going to the gym (Which I'm not a member of) after, and then had a jam packed weekend.

My largest observation from the first two dates, was that we could talk endlessly about ourselves, and find common topics of conversation, however I wasn't sure how to turn conversation into something more.

Currently I've been single for just over 2 years, since an Ex of 2 years in University and have only had two girl friends before, the other one being in the end of high school for just about 2 years. Previously the girlfriend in university happened in one day, where we were living in the same building and I met and then went to her dorm room with a bottle of wine and we watched a rom com, and then escalated it and started making out, which lead to sex on her bed ( I think the wine would have helped back then ;) ).
However now with this single spell of no sex or girls for 2 years, I find myself out of touch, especially on how to game without alcohol and game on multiple dates to lead up to sex.
So I read quite a few posts on /seduction and also read "Double your Dating" by David Deangelo. Previously I had listened to the audio book "The Game" by Neil Strauss, and read half of the "How to Lay Girls Guide" that Style talks about in the beginning of the Game. Also watched quite a few videos on youtube by Style (Neil Strauss).

Today: 3rd Date, Met for takeaway hot chocolates and went for a walk in the local park by the seafront to watch the sunset. Got some good conversation, holding her hand, and talked about the surroundings trying to make her more present in the moment. Asked her what she's fascinated about (, what came out was currently the gym (sporting exercises, i.e. running, gym, hand stands and calisthenics), and crime thriller TV shows. Played Style's 5 question game (, on her and that then lead to good Kino with hugging and laughing. [However I was unsure on how to escalate this into a kiss, or something more]. We did sit down and stare somewhat into each others eyes, however just talking still. Ended up continuing to walk in the park and ended up doing some handstands with her. Walked back to a local bistro-pub and got pint of cider, and played some table football for a couple of games then we both ordered burgers and chips. Whilst we were eating, she was telling me about a house party that happened the last weekend and how an old man tried to stroke her back and put his hand on her inner thigh. She did it to me, and I did the same back to her, I felt quite turned on that moment, and we did stare into each others eyes, then laughed it off. She was showing me some photos on her phone of the party, and then I decided to show her some of a fancy restaurant I went to in another city with a mate, however she saw a tinder message notification on my phone, and she seemed somewhat put off by this. (I'm not sure how to bring this up her, I'm hoping that it will be okay, she's by far the best match I've had and liked allot after meeting). She then ended up drinking soft drinks again, and I did the same. We played some more table football for quite a few games and then she said she was tired, so I walked her back to the train station. This time she went in for a kiss goodbye on the lips and then left.

We talked about I could join her for a run after her work through the week just me and her. We also talked about that she'd like to watch game of thrones some time, however she said she's put off by dates that have tried to get to "Chill" and watch game of thrones (As she's told me about a tinder that invited her to his house to make pizza's and then tried to have sex with her after some TV, however she said she ended up leaving and was put off by it). Talking with her, she's been out of the dating game for 3 years also, she talks quite quickly and can get flustered quite easily.

So reddit, any feedback, and on next steps whats the best way to escalate the relationship to something sexual ? As I've read I should not be a nice guy, as women want a sexual partner that then gets turned into a long term partner. Any particular date ideas, that we could do ? Also specifically is there any games I could do to get more sexual attraction ? And or get us passionately kissing each other ?
submitted by true2phoenix to seduction [link] [comments]

2019.01.16 23:38 MOLightningBro [LONG] How the 2018-19 Tampa Bay Lightning were assembled


This is LONG. I wanted to go a little in depth on how this current iteration of the Lightning was assembled. Transactions in italics mean the playeassets are no longer with the organization but were used to acquire current assets. Transactions in bold are players currently on the NHL roster.
There is a bit of a “homer” slant in some of the blurbs as this was originally written for tampabaylightning. However, I figured I’d post it here because, as u/elgrandeslimbo suggested, it would be interesting to see this done for other teams in the NHL.
So if anyone wants to take on the task for their respective team, please do so!
July 31, 2000
January 7, 2002
June 22, 2007
July 3, 2007
June 20, 2008
July 4, 2008
November 7, 2008
June 26th, 2009
February 5, 2010
May 25, 2010
July 2, 2010
July 16, 2010
August 9, 2010
March 7, 2011
June 24, 2011
June 25, 2011
February 8, 2012
February 21,2012
March 1, 2012
June 22, 2012
June 23, 2012
March 25, 2013
April 3, 2013
June 30, 2013
March 5, 2014
March 10, 2014
June 27, 2014
June 28, 2014
July 1, 2014
March 2, 2015
June 27, 2015
July 21, 2015
June 24, 2016
June 25, 2016
February 26, 2017
June 15, 2017
July 1, 2017
November 14, 2017
February 26, 2018
September 11, 2018
September 22, 2018
And that is how the 2018-19 Tampa Bay Lightning came to be. If you’ve made it this far, I feel like you deserve some sort of medal. I hope you enjoyed the read!
submitted by MOLightningBro to hockey [link] [comments]

2019.01.16 15:06 MOLightningBro [LONG] How the 2018-19 Tampa Bay Lightning were assembled


This is LONG. I wanted to go a little in depth on how this current iteration of the Lightning was assembled. Transactions in italics mean the playeassets are no longer with the organization but were used to acquire current assets. Transactions in bold are players currently on the NHL roster.
There is a bit of a “homer” slant in some of the blurbs as this was originally written for tampabaylightning. However, I figured I’d post it here because, as u/elgrandeslimbo suggested, it would be interesting to see this done for other teams in the NHL.
So if anyone wants to take on the task for their respective team, please do so!
July 31, 2000
January 7, 2002
June 22, 2007
July 3, 2007
June 20, 2008
July 4, 2008
November 7, 2008
June 26th, 2009
February 5, 2010
May 25, 2010
July 2, 2010
July 16, 2010
August 9, 2010
March 7, 2011
June 24, 2011
June 25, 2011
February 8, 2012
February 21,2012
March 1, 2012
June 22, 2012
June 23, 2012
March 25, 2013
April 3, 2013
June 30, 2013
March 5, 2014
March 10, 2014
June 27, 2014
June 28, 2014
July 1, 2014
March 2, 2015
June 27, 2015
July 21, 2015
June 24, 2016
June 25, 2016
February 26, 2017
June 15, 2017
July 1, 2017
November 14, 2017
February 26, 2018
September 11, 2018
September 22, 2018
And that is how the 2018-19 Tampa Bay Lightning came to be. If you’ve made it this far, I feel like you deserve some sort of medal. I hope you enjoyed the read!
submitted by MOLightningBro to TampaBayLightning [link] [comments]

2018.10.11 03:25 GraemeTaylor 2049 Capholds

NOTE: This is my first time doing this, I definitely messed some stuff up. Please double check your team, and let me know what I did wrong :)
RFA's cap holds will be equal to 1.5x their value on their 4th year contract (first round picks only). 2nd-round picks will have a caphold of 2 million. Rookies that had their teams forego their 4th year option will have 2x their salary as a cap hold. UFA will have a 1x cap hold. So, without further ado, here are capholds for each team, listed alphabetically. A friendly reminder that the renunciation of capholds is irrevocable. You can renounce players in the comments:
Ahmad Webster: 11.5
Andre Thomas: 8
Phil Bell: 2
Tomas Seibutis: 11
Spencer Jackson: 2
D'Waylan Romano: 2
Total: 36.5
LeTaylor Ball: 16.85
Dominque Jacobs: 22.5
Terry Jones: 12
Monty Muhammad: 2
Andre Morgan: 2
Total: 55.35
Anthony Nourse: 21
Terrance Blake: 0.75
Bruce Brown: 5.5
TaBarri Waller: 11.25
Lewis Walker: 3
Total: 41.5
Nigenomome Oinko: 13
Charles Ryan: 10
Andy Davis: 2.25
Justin Best: 10
Harley Floyd: 2
Bo Brody: 2
Total: 39.25
Chris Lee: 10
Fatts Russell: 10
Von Walton: 22.5
Charles Daniels: 2
Total: 44.5
Papa Nzeulie: 12
Josh Wutford: 2.25
Lewis Young: 1.75
Jo Bala: 5.07
Anthony Warsaw: 2
Total: 23.07
Carl Drammeh: 10.125
Stefan Obradovic: 4.5
Robert Davidson: 4.4
Stefan Vuksanovic: 2
Total: 21.05
Tony Gill: 22.5
Logan Bartlstein: 2.5
Jere Vukusic: 10
Shawne Barbour: 10
Marshal Sims: 4
Luke Dickher: 7
Dominque Swarbrick: 4.75
Kyndhal Williams: 1.75
Total: 57.5
Chris Dabich: 17
Tyrone Whiting: 22.5
Casey Morris: 4.5
Toby Johnson: 1.25
Nedim Agva: 0.75
Romain Lettuce: 0.75
Total: 46.75
Larry Edgerson: 20
Chauncey Stephenson: 4.05
Jacquan Jones: 2
Kevin Evans: 2.3
Total: 28.35
Salim Langura: 22.5
Wannah Neil: 5.5
Jerome Forrest: 5.5
Wayne Kuebler: 1.75
Arnold Loving: 1.75
Matan Zeusman: 1.75
Torree McConnell: 0.75
James Brown: 1
Total: 40.5
Dax Nudo: 1.75
La'Shard Hunter: 1.75
Jimmy Ervin: 1
Hubert Waczynski: 2
Total: 6
King Strong: 2.5
Chris Ocherobia: 1.75
TJ Ptacek: 2 (undrafted is treated as a 2nd)
Stephen West: 2 (undrafted is treated as a 2nd)
Total: 7.75
Vitor Hettshemeier: 5
Josh Ebow: 2
Waylon Johnson: 6.42
James Ellis: 6.5
Adam Vonleh: 2
DeAngelo Brooks: 2.1
Jermaine Huestis: 2
Lorenzo Hollowell: 2.25
Total: 28.27
Matej Batina: 2
Terrance Mozzarella: 13
Dale Haley: 1.75
Virgle Carr: 2
Jerry Baylor: 3
Reggie Hazouri: 2.25
Anton Benzon: 4
Total: 9.25
Metin Yilmaz: 9.3
Aleska J: 8
Austin Blosser: 5.745
Nick Dorsey: 0.75
Podfog Washed: 3
Kenny Washington: 2
Harrison Watson: 2
Total: 30.795
Anthony Lucas: 18.5
Matt Brown: 20
TJ Kaminecki: 16
Kion Montgomery: 4.5
Cecil Dielo: 1
Vanja R: 0.75
Steve Shedd: 0.75
Total: 61.5
Charles Ball: 2
David Kinzer: 4.725
Total: 6.725
Talbott Atamah: 4
Drew Smith: 5.4
J.T. Newsome: 2
Walker Ellis: 16
Brian Molinari: 22.5
Jeff Grice: 6.195
Lee Caird: 22.5
Ishmael Blackstock: 10.13
Kendal Bunce: 1.5
Steve Horowitz: 1
Donnie Lassiter: 0.75
D.J. Lane: 1
DeAndre Taylor: 0.75
Tim Reuter: 1
Devin Adapolo: 1.00
Josh Parker: 1.75
Total: 86.075
Stipe Stemberger: 22.5
Terrell McKee: 4.5
Brian Logan: 1.75
Dave McNeal: 1
Thomas McCrae: 0.75
Ego Eslik: 0.75
Total: 31.25
Gorkem Yildirim: 11
Joey Welcher: 15
Devario Owens: 8
Dominque Fenton: 11
Javier Evans: 3.315
Ottopeek Coffeey: 11.82
Robby Badbreath: 4.5
Lucious Taylor: 2.75
Robert Frazier: 2
Total: 69.385
Travis Brown: 3.375
Micheal Johnston: 5
Ray Bryant: 10
Leon Seiferth: 3
Trey Estes: 1.5
Sidney Thompson: 2
Total: 24.825
Loren McConnell: 24
Swaggy Pee, Jr: 27
Jayson Jackson-Johnson: 2
Vishal Alexander: 3.375
Daddy Madrich: 7.605
Total: 63.98
Tony Robinson: 1
Jared Ingram: 0.75
Marques Freeman: 1.75
Tim Williams: 2.7
Total: 6.2 (not sure if HD will count in this, not sure if he opts out or what)
Devario Owens: 3.375
Lindsay Parker: 2.5
Steve Partner: 4
Total: 9.75
Thon Maker, Jr: 2.95
Dendre McClean: 22.5
Poormanz Rains: 3
Aivaras Tatarunas: 10
Jared Van Schiack: 3.375
Graville Rivers: 6.75
Charles Ayeni: 2
Damarcus Hassan: 9.375
Will Berry: 2
Total: 61.95
Rich Johnson: 22.5
Shawn Davis: 5.5
Faronte Stephens: 6
Danny Young: 1.5
Donovan Horton: 4
Mike Eddy: 2
Total: 41.5
submitted by GraemeTaylor to AmericanBasketballFed [link] [comments]

2018.10.05 22:36 4FrontCEO 4Front AMA. We’re the founders of 4Front and we’ll be back at 5pm EST on Oct. 9 to answer your questions.

Hello, Redditors.
My name is Josh Rosen, I’m CEO and co-founder of 4Front, a U.S. cannabis company with a multi-state retail and production footprint. By the end of 2018, we’ll have dispensary and cultivation operations across four states: Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, and Pennsylvania. We also plan to become publicly listed on the Canadian Securities Exchange (CSE) by the end of the year.
I’ll be joined next Tuesday, Oct. 9, for this AMA by Kris Krane, my co-founder and 4Front’s president. Kris (kranewreck) is a 20-year veteran of the drug-policy-reform movement, having previously served as associate director of NORML and the executive director for Students for Sensible Drug Policy. Kris was a pioneer in the medical cannabis consulting space, having previously worked with Harborside's Steve DeAngelo to create CannBe, one of the first cannabis consulting firms.
Here’s a bit more about our company: 4Front has been operating in the cannabis industry longer than most of our competitors. We founded the company in 2011 as a consultancy to help entrepreneurs secure coveted licenses to operate medical cannabis dispensaries in newly legal state markets. We were very successful at that. To date, we’ve helped win more than 50 operating licenses for partners around the country. In 2015, we decided to leverage our team’s experience, our track record at winning licenses, and our network among operators, to begin obtaining and managing licenses on our own behalf. Three years on, we now operate a multi-state network of medical cannabis dispensaries under the Mission brand. We currently operate a dispensary and cultivation facility in Chicago and a dispensary in Allentown, Penn. Our third dispensary is scheduled to open next week in Silver Spring, Md., the first of four we’ll be managing in Maryland in short order, and our fourth state scheduled to open in Worcester, Mass., later this quarter. Looking ahead, we have licenses in hand to open several additional dispensaries and two cultivation facilities in Massachusetts.
Kris and I look forward to answering your questions. We’ll see you on Tuesday!

Apologies in advance, but here's some requisite long-winded legal language:
This post and all subsequent posts included in this AMA are for information only and shall not constitute an offer to buy, sell, issue or subscribe for, or the solicitation of an offer to buy, sell, or subscribe for any securities in any jurisdiction in which such offer, solicitation or sale would be unlawful. The information contained herein is subject to change without notice and based on publicly available information, internally developed data and other sources. Where any opinion or belief is expressed in this AMA, it is based on the assumptions and limitations mentioned herein and is an expression of present opinion or belief only. No warranties or representations can be made as to the origin, validity, accuracy, completeness, currency or reliability of the information. 4Front Holdings LLC (“4Front” or the “Company”) disclaims and excludes all liability (to the extent permitted by law), for losses, claims, damages, demands, costs and expenses of whatever nature arising in any way out of or in connection with the information in this presentation, its accuracy, completeness or by reason of reliance by any person on any of it. This AMA should not be construed as legal, financial or tax advice to any individual, as each individual’s circumstances are different. Investors should consult with their own professional advisors regarding their particular circumstances.
Certain statements in this AMA are “forward-looking statements.” Forward-looking statements are neither historical facts nor assurances of future performance. Instead, they are based on our current beliefs, expectations and assumptions regarding the future of our business, future plans and strategies, our commercialization plans and other future conditions. A number of factors could cause actual results, performance or achievements to be materially different from any future results, performance or achievements that may be expressed or implied by such forward-looking statements including, but not limited to, national or regional economic, legal, regulatory and competitive conditions, plans for commercialization, changes in relationships with vendors, access to capital, expectations regarding market acceptance and size and other factors. Should one or more of these risks or uncertainties materialize, or should assumptions underlying the forward-looking statements prove incorrect, actual results, performance or achievements could vary materially from those expressed or implied by the forward-looking statements contained in this presentation. These factors should be considered carefully and prospective investors should not place undue reliance on these forward-looking statements.
Although the forward-looking statements contained in this AMA are based upon what 4Front currently believes to be reasonable assumptions, 4Front cannot assure that actual results, performance or achievements will be consistent with these forward-looking statements. New risks and uncertainties may emerge from time to time. Except as required by law, 4Front does not have any obligation to advise any person if it becomes aware of any inaccuracy in or omission of any forward-looking statement, nor does it intend, or assume any obligation, to update or revise these forward-looking statements to reflect new events or circumstances.
submitted by 4FrontCEO to weedstocks [link] [comments]

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